Fire Ashes Blood Death
by Word of War
Summary: Commander Alice Shepard, survivor of Mindoir and Akuze, prefers solitude. It comes with being an N7. But after her shore leave is yanked away, she is assigned to the SSV Normandy where the reasons behind missions aren't thoroughly explained.
1. N7

Fire. Ashes. Blood. Death.

The images are burned into her brain, hounding her dreams. If only they were just nightmares and not memories. Maybe then she would be able to forget them and not have them plague her very being until the point of utter exhaustion.

Ricocheting bullets. Gunfire. Screams. Pain. Hopelessness. Calls for help. More and more death.

She is once more awakened by a fellow soldier who heard her crying out softly during the night. The face of her friend asks questions wordlessly, but they are left unanswered as she shrugs it off and rises silently.

Fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of what's attacking. Fear of the end.

The vivid memory of her fear makes bile rise in her throat as she pulls on her blue fatigues and exits the barracks. The silence in the station's hallway is welcome. It's a nice reprieve from the noise of the memory. It is also a curse, though. A curse that cannot chase away the remnants of what her sleeping body experienced when her unconscious self tore her to shreds with the past.

At first it was fight. Then it was flight. Now only she remains. A lone soldier in the dark with the bodies of her unit scattered behind her.

The door dings softly as it closes behind her. Now she is standing in the observatory; the vast window stretching out in front of her; the stars sparkling and shimmering against the inky black void of space.

Cold.

She walks closer to the window, placing her hands on its chilled, smooth surface. Gooseflesh appears on her arms as the cold rushes through her. "Get out of there!" she sighs, banging her head lightly against the window. Echoes of the screams flicker through her ears to mock her feeble attempt to cast out what she remembers.

They have an iron grip on her, the memories. They dictate her every move, every thought, every action and reaction. Her memories, her past experiences, shaped her into the woman she was now. A survivor.

* * *

><p>"Was it Akuze last night, Commander, or Mindoir?"<p>

Commander Alice Shepard, N7, of the Systems Alliance was staring intently at the _food_ her and her fellow soldiers had been served for breakfast. The man who had served it, Taylors, said it was oatmeal today, but it didn't smell or taste like it. Instead, it smelled...warm, cooked, and was a flavorless mush that was like the gruel you hear slavers give to their _property._

"Neither, but both," Shepard answers blackly.

"You love speaking in riddles, don't you?"

"It's what I'm good at."

"That and kicking ass," Her friend says teasingly. It's the same friend that woke her up from the _nightmares_ last night.

"And you only seem to be good at eating the so called food the Alliance gives us, Rogers," Shepard teases back.

Rebecca Rogers had been a friend of Shepard's since she was sixteen, when she was forced to move from her home on Mindoir to Earth. Rogers nearly knew everything about her friend except for what went on in her head most of the time and enjoyed picking on her _superior_ almost as much as Shepard enjoyed the company. They were a close pair, but a silent rule was shared between them, one that had been established when they first met: don't ask questions, make inferences, or discuss each others' past. That didn't mean, however, that they didn't open up to one another about their past. It just meant that they had a right to go silent if their friendly talking touched a few nerves or got too personal. Shepard exercised this right much more religiously than Rogers, who found it easy and better to talk about her rare, unsettling things of the past.

Shepard eyed her friend. She was a tall, lanky woman with long black hair slicked back into a ponytail, regulation style. Her skin was always a dark tan no matter how little UV rays they got at any given point on this station. Frankly, Rogers looked like she was more limb than anything else. She was the tallest woman on the entire station, and that's saying something considering how many soldiers were actually assigned here at the moment. She was also taller than most of the men. Rogers had shinning emerald eyes that always had a gleam to them, either of mischief or sarcasm. Right now, however, Rogers's eyes had a hungry gleam to them as she frequently glanced at the food Shepard had hardly touched.

"You want my food," Shepard said, motioning to the tray in front of her with the still steaming _oatmeal_ on it, "give me your coffee card, and it's yours."

"You drive a hard bargain, Shepard," Rogers said, a torn look spreading across her face, "but you have a deal." Rogers fished out her coffee ration card from her pocket and hurriedly handed it to Shepard. As soon as the transaction had been completed, Rogers snatched up Shepard's tray, sending silverware flying, and began to tear ravenously into the food.

Shepard rose from the table and walked over to the food line. The occasional FNG would pass her and salute mid step for her before continuing on their way. Commander Shepard commanded a lot of respect on this station, even from those of higher rank. It comes with the territory and the things she has _accomplished_.

Taylors had his back turned to her when she stood at the food line. He was messing with some of the controls on a panel connected to what looked like an oven. Taylors was completely oblivious to Shepard, and although Shepard was an extremely patient person and could outwait anything and everything, this was coffee and Shepard's lifeline when it came to getting through the day. So, she shamelessly cleared her throat loudly to get Taylors attention.

"Oh, Commander," Taylors said breathlessly, "I didn't see you there!" his salute emphasizing his apologetic tone.

Shepard simply nodded at him, not believing that words needed to be said at the moment.

"So..." he continued, feeling awkward, "what can I do for you, ma'am?"

The ration card was between her first and middle fingers and Taylor's recognized the red color signifying it was for coffee. Not that he needed the color to tell what it was for. He had run through this routine with the Commander for what seemed like hundreds of times.

"You know as well as I do that one coffee card will only fill half of that thermos of yours you seem to love to use so much."

Shepard smirked with a raised eyebrow before spreading her fingers enough to show Taylors she had two, her own ration card and the one that she had traded Rogers for.

"Managed to get the begging puppy to give you her coffee card in return for your food again, huh?" Taylors chuckled.

"That's not nice," Shepard said lightheartedly, handing over the ration cards, "calling a fellow soldier a 'begging puppy.'"

"That's all she seems to be whenever you're around with food," Taylors replied, smiling. "One sec." Taylors turned around and disappeared through one of the door that leads to the kitchen to grab her thermos and fill it coffee.

Shepard shifted her weight onto one leg as she waited, crossing her arms as well. No doubt Taylors was mixing in extra sugar and the "extra caloric powder" that she was forced to take due to her "apparent disregard for food." All of these instructions had been passed down from a multitude of doctors and psychiatrists she had seen after Akuze. None of them had realized that if the Alliance served food that was actual _food, _she would eat it...maybe. The truth was, though, that she didn't really like eating. Sure she would eat when she was hungry, but she just wasn't hungry anymore; and when she did eat, that fact that she didn't practice good eating habits meant that she could never eat very much without getting full really quickly.

All of these facts she had pointed out to most of the doctors, and all of them still thought it hazardous since she was a biotic. And since there job wasn't to make things more practical and more efficient, the doctors decided that they were going to have the _chefs_ on all the stations and ships that Shepard is assigned to slip extra sugar and calorie powder into everything she receives, i.e. coffee, food, even water. Maybe that was why Rogers was always bouncing off of the walls, along with every other surface, whenever she cleaned up after Shepard. She was sugar high.

"Here you go, Commander," Taylors said, reentering with Shepard's coffee and a couple of high calorie energy bars.

"Thanks, Taylors," Shepard smiles, grabbing the coffee, savoring the warmth emanating from the thermos and flowing through her hands. She hesitated in grabbing the energy bars, though. Those awful things tasted worse than anything the Alliance could send in rations. They tasted like burnt oats, and how people, or machines, could even manage to recreate that flavor in an energy bar was an incredible feat that shouldn't be accomplished.

Reading her hesitation Taylors spoke up, "Commander, with all due respect, those energy bars may taste like shit, but they are the only thing keeping your blood sugar at the right levels for what biotics, like yourself, need."

"Well, you've got the 'taste like shit' part right," Shepard grumbled, finally taking the energy bars from Taylors.

"Look on the bright side, at least they keep you from starving yourself," Taylors said with a smile.

"I don't starve myself," Shepard said with a smirk. "I protect myself from getting food poisoning from the..._food_ you serve."

"Wait...I serve food?"

Laughing Shepard walked back over to Rogers, who was now sitting in front of an empty spot; trays, food, and silverware missing. "Jesus, Rebecca! When I told you, you could have what was left on my tray, I didn't expect you to eat the damn thing along with the fork and spoon!"

"Ha-ha! Very fucking funny!" Rogers said with feigned laughter, throwing her ugly beret at Shepard instead of wearing it like she was supposed to.

Shepard caught it before it hit her and gave Rogers her crooked smile before sitting back down in front of her, tossing it to onto the table. She opened up one of the high calorie energy bars. She had a method as to how to get these things down without tasting them too much. First, she would take a swig of her coffee, letting its warm deliciousness numb her mouth before she would take a huge bite out her the energy bar. Then, she would take a quick sip of her coffee to help wash down the dryness of them as well. After that, It was just a simple matter of repeating the process until none of the energy bars were left, and if she was lucky, some of her coffee would be left so that she could enjoy the rest of it without needing to use it in order to keep her from gagging.

"So, word on the street is that tomorrow you get go and enjoy the pleasantries of the elusive 'Shore Leave,'" Rogers said, envy just barely tingeing her words.

"Funny, I didn't there were any streets around here...maybe I just miss them or they're hidden in plain sight." Shepard took a deep sip of here coffee, the sugar making her hands tingly. Today she got lucky enough to have some left over from her energy bar routine.

"Damn it, Alice. Stop playing games about questions pertaining to you for a moment and give me a straight answer," Rogers snapped, annoyed with how her friend always dodged her questions.

"Last I looked, that's not how you address your commanding officer,_ Gunnery Chief_ _ Rogers_," Shepard fired back, stressing her words in feign annoyance. "Perhaps you should address me properly _and_ remember you don't get to make demands of me."

"I—I'm sorry, Commander Shepard. I meant no offense," Rogers' resignation to losing their _argument_ was about as fake as soldiers from the First Contact War saying that they love turians. It just wasn't true, real, or logical.

"And yes, I do start my shore leave tomorrow," Shepard smirked, watching her friend shoot daggers at her through narrowed eyes.

"Lucky bastard!" Rogers chuckled.

"Not so lucky. I get to teach the Fucking New Guys how to shoot a sniper rifle, and most of them have such a extreme case of _hero worship_ that they'll probably forget which end the bullets come out of and shoot themselves. Or some other similar form of stupidity."

"Yeah, FNG's are a real pain to deal with," Rogers snickered with mock sympathy. "I changed my mind, I don't envy you anymore."

"I'll be sure to send you a post card from the beaches when I get down to Earth."

"Bitch."

"Fat ass."

"God, you're such a terrible friend."

"God, you're such an annoying friend."

"Drinks when you get back?"

"Hell yeah there'll be drinks!" Shepard laughed. "What kind of friend would I be if I didn't treat you to drinks when I got back?"

"A normal one?"

"Do you honestly think I was ever normal or will ever be normal?"

"No..."

"That's what I thought."

With that, the two friends rose simultaneously from their table and went to go do their duties. Shepard glanced over her shoulder at Rogers before heading to the armory. She hadn't told her what she was going to be doing. No doubt it involved her being a pain in someone's ass...albeit that she didn't do it intentionally. It was just her personality, one that Shepard took for granted.

* * *

><p>"We can't just haul her back now that she finally got some well deserved, completely overdue shore leave, sir."<p>

"What would you have me do, Anderson? We need her-humanity needs her."

"I understand that, sir, but at least have it be more than a simple call. She deserves something more personal than that," Captain Anderson sighed.

"It sounds like you have something in mind."

"Allow Lieutenant Alenko and I to go and deliver the news of her reassignment personally, sir."

"Very well, Captain. If you truly want to be on the receiving end of telling someone their shore leave is cancelled, then by all means, have at it," Admiral Hackett replied.

"Aye, aye, sir."

"A question before you go, though: why do you intend to bring the Lieutenant with you?"

"There are reports that she can be violent at times," Anderson answered hesitantly. "I might need someone to _pull_ her off me in case she really doesn't like the fact that she's been reassigned."

"Smart thinking, Captain. Hackett out," with that Admiral Hackett cut off the transmission, leaving Captain Anderson with static before he also closed the transmission on his end as well.

Anderson sighed, removing his cap and running his hand over his smooth head. Everything was becoming complicated now that the _SSV Normandy _had been completed. Soldiers were being shipped in from different stations and now he finds out that a Specter was going to be on board as well, Nihlus. And on top of that, somehow it got leaked that Commander Shepard was going to be assigned to the _Normandy_ as well, and all the others stationed here were asking all sorts of questions about the Specter and the Commander.

"I certainly don't envy her," Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko said from behind the Captain. Anderson had allowed him to eavesdrop on the transmission between him and Admiral Hackett since he was being _volunteered _to help him drag the Commander away from her shore leave. "Finally receiving shore leave, only to be reassigned the first day in."

"Well, we better head out, if we're lucky, we'll find her before she gets on her ship to Earth."

"I don't think that's going to be lucky, sir."

"For us or for her?

"It's probably for both, sir."

"I'm glad that I'm taking you with me then, Lieutenant," Andersons said. "Meet me at the shuttle."

"Aye, aye."

* * *

><p>Shepard had drifted off, leaning against her duffle bag that was propped up in the corner of the bench. She had made it through customs and was now waiting at the terminal for the shuttle that would take her where she needed to go. Getting through customs had taken all of twenty minutes, and she now had to wait five hours for her shuttle. Delay's were not something people told you about until it was ten minutes before you needed to get on the shuttle, and that irked her just a little bit.<p>

Something was nudging her leg, and Shepard woke with a start. Her eye's snapped open, the bright light of the terminal blinding her for a moment. Blurry and fuzzy images were all that she saw for a little bit before she made out a little boy in front of her. He had shaggy, red hair and muddy brown eyes that sparkled with innocence. When he noticed that he woke Shepard up he took a step back.

A smile tugged at Shepard's lips as she looked at the little boy. "Hey," she said quietly.

"Are you a soldier?" he asked, pointing at Shepard's chest.

Looking down, Shepard saw that he was pointing at the silver tags that hung loosely around her neck, "I guess I am," she replied, continuing to smile at the boy.

"Mommy says soldiers are scary," the boy added dryly. "But you don't look that scary."

Shepard shook her head slightly. She got the whole "fear of soldiers" thing a lot. Apparently just keeping on her tags were enough to cause people to take notice. "Well, I'm glad that I don't."

"My name's Tristan," he said, extending a hand.

"Commander Alice Shepard," she chuckled, taking his hand.

Tristan's eyes got real big when she heard her say the word _commander_. He was completely shocked. "You're really a commander!"

"Mhm. It took a lot of hard work to get there, but I am."

"Wow...! That's so cool!"

"I think so too," Shepard said, smiling harder than she had in days. This little boy's enthusiasm was just so adorable.

"Do you think I could become a commander when I grow up?" Tristan asked in awe. Becoming a commander in the Alliance military seemed like the coolest thing in the world to him now.

"If you really want to and work at it, you sure could."

"I'm gonna be the bestest commander the galaxy has ever seen!" Tristan exclaimed.

"I bet you will," Shepard said, playing into the boy's fantasy, "and when you do, will you mention me in your big speech when they honor you with the award of being the bestest commander in the entire galaxy?"

"Of course, Commander, you can count on me!" Tristan threw in a cute little salute that was the complete opposite of professional, and Shepard could barely contain her laughter.

"Tristan! Where have you run off to now?"

"I'm right here, Mommy!"

"Oh, there you are," Tristan's mother said. Shepard pegged her to be in her late twenties, early thirties. She had brown hair and the same muddy brown eyes as her son. She was wearing a fancy dress that reeked of Citadel, of wealth. The way she carried herself was enough to tell that she thought she was better than everyone else, especially a lowly Alliance soldier. The sneer she wore on her face resembled one you would give when looking at someone with gaudy jewelry or tattoos. Shepard's blood boiled as she looked at this woman who wore that sneer and was directing it at her.

"Mommy, this is Alice. She's a commander! Isn't that cool?" Tristan said, tugging at her dress.

"You don't say..." the look on this woman's face changed from a sneer to something that said, "stay the hell away from my son you brain washing monster."

"She's in the Alliance just like Daddy was!"

"Daddy was only a lieutenant, sweetie. He was never valued enough to become a commander."

_Ouch_. Shepard winced at her words. Past tense sentences when describing _Daddy_ told her that he wasn't among the living any more. "It wasn't easy for me to become a commander, Tristan. I'm not even sure what I did to become one."

"I don't care how hard it is! I'm gonna be a commander and make Daddy proud!" Tristan shouted.

Shepard was practically willing Tristan to stop talking about it, to drop the whole thing. His mother already didn't like her because she was an Alliance soldier, now she hated Shepard because it sounded as if she had brainwashed her kid into wanting to join the military.

Tristan's mother looked horrified at what her son was saying. "D—don't say those things Tristan."

"Why not, Mommy? Don't you want me to be like Daddy?"

"How old are you, kid?" Shepard asked, cutting off whatever his mother was going to say next.

"I'm seven," he answered dutifully, looking proud at how old he is.

"Well, will you promise me something? You stick by your mother and watch out for her until you're eighteen, ok?"

"Why?"

"Because your mother loves you very much, and you aren't allowed to join the Alliance 'til you're eighteen," Shepard explained, hoping to dissuade him from rushing off to the military, even though that's what she had done. "Don't worry, I'll hold down the fort 'til you are old enough to join, but I need you to put some serious thought into it and to talk to your mother about it as well."

"Oh, ok, I guess," Tristan sighed as he looked down at his feet, tracing a circle with his foot.

"Will you promise me that, Tristan?"

Yeah, ok. I promise," he said with a beaming smile.

"Good."

Shepard looked at Tristan's mother. Her sneer had been wiped off completely and her eyes and face were set a little softer when she looked at the soldier. "Thank you," she mouthed before actually saying, "Well, I would like to know the name of the commander who will be 'holding down the fort' for my son, so I know who I need to thank later."

"The name's—"

"Commander Shepard!" A booming voice snapped, grabbing everyone's attention. Shepard turned to see two more Alliance soldiers walking towards her. One who was dressed in the blue fatigues you wore when off duty and when you weren't getting shot at. The other was in more classy blue outfit. It was a uniform meant for parades, significant occasions, or any other time in which you needed to look fancy but still had to have on something that identified you as Alliance. The medals on the shoulder of the soldier with the classy uniform showed that he was a captain, and she immediately snapped into a salute, cursing herself for changing into more casual clothes before she even got on her ship.

"Commander Shepard," the Alliance captain repeated, now that he stood next to Tristan and his mother, "I need to speak with you."

Dread filled Shepard as her hand dropped to her side. She nodded at the captain before looking back over at Tristan's mother. "My name is Alice Shepard."

"Well, it was a pleasure to meet you Commander Alice Shepard," The mother said before taking her little boy's hand. "Come along Tristan. It sounds like these soldiers need the Commander for something important."

"Awww...alright," Tristan whined. "See you later, Commander," he said, changing from whining to enthusiasm almost immediately. He was waving goodbye even after his mother was dragging him away.

Shepard smiled sweetly at him, returning his frantic waving goodbye with a wave of her own.

* * *

><p>Kaidan was struck by how casual the Commander looked standing there, talking with a couple of civvies. You wouldn't have been able to tell she was an Alliance soldier save for the fact that she wore her tags around her neck. She was wearing light blue pants, maybe some vintage jeans from back before the First Contact War. A dark, black leather jacket hung on her shoulders, and the bottom didn't even reach her hips. A red halter top was underneath the jacket. Her entire outfit accented her pale white skin. It could be compared to ivory it was so white.<p>

All in all, Shepard looked like a complete badass from where Kaidan was standing, and he was a little intimidated by her. People had said that she had violent tendencies. He was hoping that he wouldn't have to experience that first hand.

So, it was a bit of a surprise to Kaidan when he saw Shepard's face. It was soft with two bright, icy blue eyes that looked as if they could cut through anything; and her long, golden hair framed her face, making her eyes even more intense. And when she smiled at the little boy she had been talking to, she seemed to radiate kindness, not the badass, violent person, her choice in clothes screamed she was.

Something stirred in Kaidan's gut when he looked as Shepard. He couldn't explain what it was.

* * *

><p>As soon as Shepard had smiled and waved goodbye, her smile vanished as she turned all her attention to the Captain and the other soldier.<p>

"Commander, there is something important that I need to tell—"

"Just tell me where I've been reassigned to, please, sir," Shepard cut in, tired of how all the higher ups thought that they needed to give excuses for taking away shore leave.

Both the captain and the other soldier looked surprised at Shepard. They clearly had been expecting some resistance, some sort of annoyance from her on this matter.

When the captain wasn't forthcoming with information, the other soldier supplied it for him, "You've been reassigned to the _SSV Normandy_ as of now. Your shore leave's been cancelled, and you need to come with us."

His voice danced in Shepard's ears, and she couldn't explain why, but she loved his voice. It was gruff and manly, but not overbearingly so. It also was calm and collective. She knew that she was going to like working with him. Her face or stance didn't change though. Shepard stood rigid and tall (even though she wasn't very tall) as if at attention. She had no expression betraying how she felt about the reassignment. "I knew that there would never be shore leave for me almost immediately after I signed up," she sighed, dropping her eyes just a little.

Captain Anderson picked up on the tell tale. She was disappointed in the fact that she had had her shore leave yanked away from her once more. "I'm sorry, Commander, but the Alliance needs you."

"That's the same thing they said to me before Akuze, sir, and that didn't turn out so well," Shepard said, wincing at her own words as the name 'Akuze' brought up things she didn't want to remember.

Anderson flinched at her words as well. When a soldier brought up their scars willingly, it meant that they didn't believe they had anything worth living for. Now that he heard Shepard say that, he could see in the way she moved that she was haunted by Akuze. When she moved to retrieve her bag, she moved with a fast sluggishness. She was moving quickly, but just slow enough to show pain and sorrow. Kaidan couldn't tell anything was wrong with her though, just that she used Akuze as an example and maybe as a reminder. Anderson was able to pick up more because he was more experienced than both Shepard and Kaidan.

"Then let's hope that we don't have another Akuze on our hands," Anderson said like he was barking a command.

"We won't," Shepard forced out through a clenched jaw.

That was determination built off of guilt. Kaidan and Anderson could see that. The firm set of her jaw, her shoulders raised ever so slightly more than they had been, and the fierce spark in her eyes said that she was going to make sure her words come true. Under her watch, there would never be another Akuze.

Shepard looked at the captain and the other soldier whose name and rank she didn't know. She had an itch. It was tickling her fingers, making her want to scratch. They were making inferences about her, assuming about things they didn't know. It was human nature, and it was annoying. She had half the mind to tell them off, but since one of them was of higher rank, and the other could very well be of higher rank as well, she was forced to remain silent about it and leave the itch unscratched.

Kaidan cleared his throat. Something in Shepard's gaze unnerved him. Then it occurred to him. They hadn't introduced themselves. The captain and him were still complete strangers to her. Sure they were connected through the Alliance, and that alone gave them an automatic bond through service, but there was nothing more.

"Here we are talking about the grim and terrible," Kaidan said, "and we haven't even introduced ourselves. I'm Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, and it's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am."

The other soldier, who Shepard now knew was Kaidan, extended a hand to her. "The pleasure is mine," Shepard said calmly, almost musically, as she shook his hand.

"Captain Anderson," the captain said, and two things popped into Shepard's head as she shook his hand: the Skyllian Blitz, and he knows of loss on a magnitude similar to her own.

Shepard cracked her neck loudly after the introductions, shouldering her bag after relieving some of the tension in her neck. "So..." she dragged out the word, acknowledging the awkwardness of the situation but refusing to feel it. "Where to now?"

"Ah, right this way, Commander," Captain Anderson said, motioning for her to follow as he took the lead. "We have a shuttle waiting to take us to the _Normandy_."

Shepard let out a whistle that started out high and lowered in pitch quickly. It was a whistle of amazement. "A private shuttle. That's fancy," she said with mock amusement.

"Well, the _Normandy_ is the first of her kind and a prototype," Anderson explained, none too impressed with Shepard's dry sarcasm. "She's integrated with an advanced stealth system that makes her invisible to scans by hiding her heat emissions. So, expect a lot of fancy once you're on board."

"I was kidding, sir," Shepard replied blankly.

"I know that, Shepard. Your sarcasm could be spotted from thirty klicks away."

Shepard simply let out huff of amusement, and the change of pace in the conversation surprised Kaidan.

"Tell me Alenko," Shepard said randomly, looking over at the Lieutenant. Kaidan swallowed hard, not knowing where this was going, "what reason did you have for coming out here with Captain Anderson. Surely he could have told me about the reassignment on his own." She had been walking pretty much parallel with Anderson, but now when she asked Kaidan a question, she lengthened her stride and slowed down so that she was walking next to him and did not have to look over her shoulder to talk to him.

Kaidan's relief of not being asked a personal question by Shepard was short lived as he realized what she was asking. "People say that you have violent tendencies," was not something you tell your commanding officer and expect to end up with a good relationship with them. Neither was lying, and Kaidan was not sure which was the lesser of two evils here. The raised eyebrow and intense gaze he was getting from Shepard convinced him that he should tell her the real reason.

"With all due respect, ma'am," Kaidan started nervously, nearly choking on his words, "there were reports that you, um, have...violent tendencies towards thing you don't like...and Captain Anderson wanted someone who could, ah, pull you off in case you went at him..." Kaidan braced himself to be hit or snapped at for what he said. He was completely caught off guard when he saw her smiling and heard her musical laughter running through his ears.

"You can thank Rebecca Rogers for that," Shepard said, still chuckling. "She's a good friend who tells everyone that I'm extremely violent, spreading a ridiculous rumor; and in return, I get to spread the rumor that she's a psychotic schizophrenic who's really good at fooling the doctors." Kaidan watched her with a questioning look, clearly not getting the point of it. "It's a game between her and I to prove that society is almost stubbornly gullible."

"Society is stubbornly gullible, Commander," Anderson interrupted, "and there's something I've read in your file that I now isn't just a rumor."

Kaidan noticed the sudden change in Shepard. Her smile was dropped and what light had been in her eyes vanished as quickly as it had appeared when speaking about her friend. She was now very tense, walking with her head locked forward. Her lips twitched just a bit as if she were annoyed or something...

_She's nervous,_ Kaidan realized and was shocked. Of all the things he thought the Commander would be, nervous was not one of them.

Shepard was annoyed with Anderson at the moment. Yes, he may be a hero and all, but he could cut the theatrics and just say what he wanted to say. There were only the three of them, and at least two of them already knew where this was going. Kaidan probably didn't, and you could probably read on his face whether or not he did, but Shepard was forcing herself to look dead ahead and not give any response on her face or in her body language towards what was being insinuated.

By "your file," Anderson wasn't really talking about her record. That was a file that everyone could access and a file that everyone on the _Normandy_ had already looked up and read as far as Shepard knew. She expected that from all of them. It was human nature and flat out curiosity that made them do so; and hate it all she might, there was nothing to stop them. The file that Captain Anderson was talking about was all the classified crap the Alliance had on her. Not even Shepard got the privilege to see what it said; only her commanding officers could get to see, and even then, only a handful had actually got clearance to see the damn thing. That's why she was nervous. She didn't know what in her file he might be addressing at the moment.

"Your lone wolf days are over," Anderson said commandingly. It was an order.

"Aye, aye, sir," was Shepard's immediate response.

"Let me rephrase that for you: under my command you will not continue your lone wolf behavior," Anderson didn't even look over his shoulder at her. He didn't need to. He knew her type.

"Understood, sir," Shepard took advantage of not having Anderson looking at her for a response and rolled her eyes. By "understood, sir," Shepard really meant, "not a chance in hell, sir," which was more or less the truth.

"You're not going to follow that order, are you?"

"We've only just meant, and you already know me so well," Shepard answered with dry sarcasm.

"You'd apply tactics that would get yourself killed just to disobey and order from the captain?" Kaidan asked. There was a hint of criticism in his words.

"No, I'd apply tactics that would get myself killed just to make sure others don't." Shepard almost snapped at Kaidan, but her voice remained cool and level, even though Kaidan's question was one out of ignorance. Albeit, that ignorance was due to the fact that he didn't know her very well.

Kaidan shut up before he dug his grave any deeper with Shepard. He was starting to get a feel for who she was, but he was still a long way from actually _knowing _her. He hadn't even had time to read more beyond her record. All he knew about her was what happened to her before the Alliance and what happened in the Alliance up 'til now. The various doctors she'd been to compiled all their reports into one file, and he still needed to look at that one. It was surprisingly long, given that it was about one soldier, and it might even be classified as far as he knew.

"It doesn't matter how you'd apply them," Anderson cut in. "All that matters is that I ordered you to drop the loner act, and you better follow that order."

"_Aye, aye, sir_!" Shepard snapped. She bitterly hoped that he could hear the "not a chance in hell, sir," reply.

Anderson stopped in front of two doors and glared at Shepard. There was no expression, no emotion, nothing at all in the way she stood. The fierceness in her eyes cut through him, though, and he almost flinched at how her icy eyes seemed to be tearing through his own.

"Alright, next stop, the _Normandy_," Captain Anderson said before pushing on the green panel in front of the door, opening it.

There was a small shuttle inside of the hanger. Its door was already propped open, waiting for them. It was just an ordinary, beige shuttle with its classification tattooed on its sides; but Shepard stopped for a second and closed her eyes, finally addressing what was really going to happen.

_So much for making Rebecca jealous by sending her pictures of me resting_ _on the beautiful beaches down on Earth,_ she told herself cynically, shaking her head in disbelief.

When Shepard opened her eyes, Captain Anderson had disappeared into the shuttle. Lieutenant Alenko was standing outside the shuttle doors with his arms by his sides as he waited patiently on her. Shepard sighed loudly before finishing the walk to the shuttle. Glancing at Kaidan as she passed him, she saw something in his eyes that she couldn't quite place.

"This will be a short shuttle ride," Anderson said as Shepard and Kaidan got on the shuttle. "Maybe thirty minutes or so."

Shepard nodded, tossing her bag on a nearby seat. She thought about sitting, but decided not to. She had gotten a semi-decent nap in the terminal before she knew of her reassignment. So, she reached up to grab one of the metal beams that ran across the top of the shuttle for people to hold on to for when all the seats were taken and people needed help staying on their feet. A bright blue spark shot off of her hand, though, shocking her as it flew off her fingertips towards the metal beam.

"Son of a bitch!" Shepard exclaimed, shaking her hand in an attempt to rid herself of the pain because of the shock.

Looking up, Shepard could see Kaidan's amused expression on his face. He clearly thought what happened was funny and was failing at trying to hide it. Anderson didn't look impressed by what had happened. He probably just didn't care. About what happened or about her swearing, which was nice. Most of Shepard's commanding officers had a problem with it, not that she particularly cared about their opinion on how she should talk.

"I hate biotics so much sometimes!" she growled, grabbing the metal beam angrily and thankfully not receiving a second shock.

"Then you're just going to love me, ma'am," Kaidan said with a smirk. He moved his arm in front of him, and it flared up with blue, dark energy.

Shepard was surprised. She hadn't expected for the Lieutenant to be a biotic. She was usually the only biotic assigned to whatever ship or station she was on at the time and the only one on her missions that required her to be in a small squad when she wasn't operating solo. It'd be nice to have someone else impress anyone that was curious with biotic displays instead of having to do them herself. Also, she was thankful that someone else might be able to understand all the bullshit that came with biotics.

"Let me correct what I said then: I hate _my_ biotics," Shepard replied, rocking back and forth on her heals.

"Why's that, Commander?"

"They're more trouble than they're worth most of the time."

"Well," Kaidan responded, "I won't disagree with you there."

Shepard knew she was going to like him.


	2. Dangerously So

**Dangerously So**

Things on the _Normandy_ had gotten pretty quiet. Their first scheduled flight had been pushed back when maintenance had discovered a new issue with the oversized drive core. They now were going to leave the station in three days instead of thirteen hours.

Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko was wide awake, staring at the dark silver ceiling above his head. A terrible headache had kept him from falling asleep like the rest of the crew, and now that it was on its last legs, Kaidan found himself in a trance, waiting for sleep, but only able to lose himself in his memories.

Rhana. She was torturing him again; though, in life, she was way too kind to do anything of the sort. He could still see her muddy brown hair, hear her laugh still ringing in his ears, feel the warmth of her beautiful smile, and get lost in her big, clear eyes even though she wasn't here. Kaidan missed her, missed what they used to be; close. Events had caused her to change her view of him. Events that he replayed over and over in his head along with his memories of Rhana to try and make sense of what happened and what he could've done differently to keep things from falling apart like they did.

Sighing loudly, Kaidan swung his legs over the edge of his bunk and dropped to the floor with a soft thud. There was no chance of falling asleep by concentrating on the act of sleeping or by reliving the past like he had been doing. Instead, he decided to take a walk around the _Normandy._ Either he would become tired from the slight exertion, or he would at least pass the time.

Everything was surprisingly quiet on the ship. You could usually hear the hum of the engines everywhere throughout frigates, but the _Normandy_ didn't even purr like a kitten unless Joker put her through her paces. Or, at least the paces that didn't involve him from leaving the dock, that is. It was all deathly silent, and the darkness that drifted everywhere didn't help the atmosphere retain much of a cheery feeling at all.

Lights flickered and flashed at Kaidan as he passed by quietly, heading for the mess, his footfall's just barely making noise on the cold, metal floors. His headache was more or less gone now, and it hadn't even lasted as long as the others that usually escalated into a migraine. He had the medication Dr. Chakwas gave to him to thank for that, no doubt.

As he got nearer and nearer to the mess, he could see a faint orange glow illuminating the area. When he got closer, Kaidan could see that someone was working on their omni-tool along with a large data pad. Only, it wasn't just someone. It was Commander Shepard. Working on her omni-tool. In the middle of the night. With her golden hair cascading chaotically down her back. Sitting cross-legged in a chair. With no other source of light other than the orange haze of the data pad and the omni-tool.

Kaidan found this both curious and funny.

Since her reassignment to the _Normandy_, Shepard hadn't spoken to him that much. Sure there was the occasional nod in acknowledgment when they passed one another, but the fact of the matter was, that she hadn't spoken to that many people other than Dr. Chakwas, Captain Anderson, and Joker; and the only reason that she actually even talked with Joker was because it was the only way to get him to shut up. Also, even when she did talk to the other crew members, she either spoke in a commanding tone, dry sarcasm, or with swift, critical cynicism depending on the situation. She made it clear, though, that she preferred to not talk at all.

How Kaidan found this situation funny, was that he had Shepard pegged as a straight up "shoot everything that moves," type of soldier. Her critical views, harsh language, and cynicism backed that impression of her up. The very fact that she even owned an omni-tool proved otherwise.

The deathly silence continued to swallow up almost any noise, and Kaidan's footsteps remained unheard as he stepped closer toward the Commander to see what she was up to. The fast moving text streaming across the orange panels of both her omni-tool and data pad told him that she was downloading or uploading something to or from her omni-tool. Her fingers flashed across certain keys almost as quickly as the text that zoomed out of sight before you could barely tell that it had been there.

As he watched her, the unmistakable feeling that he was doing something wrong clouded his thoughts and made him fell like he was spying on Shepard. He was actually enjoying watching Shepard type furiously on both pieces of equipment doing whatever it was she was doing with such great interest and focus that she couldn't possibly notice anything else. Still, the feeling of snooping on his commanding officer made him clear his throat loudly to let her know that he was behind her.

Shepard hadn't known that Kaidan was standing behind her, watching her while she worked; and she jumped at the sound of him clearing his throat. It was like a surge of adrenaline, hearing a noise that shouldn't be made when all else was quiet; so on instinct, Shepard tensed and spun around to face whatever was behind her, a fierce scowl on her face accented by her eyes made of blue ice.

Kaidan threw up his hands in defense to ward off the Commander's attacking glare. Her long, blonde bangs fell across her face in some parts, but it only added to the intenseness of her glare. Kaidan was shocked by how she appeared to him now. She looked ferocious and wild, untamed but controlled. He never thought a woman with beauty like hers could look so threatening, intimidating, and...well, scary in a single instant. Then again, he hadn't been on the receiving end of a woman's wrath before.

Shepard's expression softened when she recognized that it was Kaidan standing behind her and not an enemy of some sort. She flashed him a small smile, dimples showing just a little and her eyes lighting up more than any star ever could. "Oh! Lieutenant," she said quietly, her voice barely breaking out of a whisper, "I didn't see you there."

"That's alright, ma'am," Kaidan replied, his words feeling as though they were stuck in his throat. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"If you startled me," she said, motioning for him to take a seat next to her, "it was my own fault. I was too focused, too drawn into what I was doing."

Shepard turned back to the omni-tool and data pad, and Kaidan pulled up a chair next to her. The deathly silence covered the _Normandy_ once more as Kaidan studied what Shepard was doing. He could definitely tell that she was uploading something _to_ her omni-tool and was making a great many modifications to it as the process continued. If it weren't for the strange feeling he got on his gut as he watched Shepard working, Kaidan would have probably been able to see what specifically she was doing; however, the way the orange light shown on Shepard's face, illuminating her hair and eyes, caught his interest and distracted him from paying attention to anything else. If Kaidan cleared his mind and focused only on her, he could very well have believed it if someone told him that she was an angel.

"If I didn't know any better, ma'am," Kaidan smirked, a teasing tone edging his voice, "I'd say that you are again."

Everything stopped. The uploading, the streaming words, the typing, all of it. Kaidan was afraid that he had said something wrong, but Shepard turned to look at him and her small smile from when she had seen him had grown, eliminating whatever ridiculous fear that Kaidan had dreamed up.

"I'm sorry, Lieutenant," She teased back, winking at him in the dim light. "I don't mean to be rude by ignoring you."

"I've dealt with plenty of assholes from the places I've been stationed at, human and alien alike, ma'am," Kaidan said, returning her smile with one of his own. "And you are nowhere near the definition of rude."

Shepard chuckled, "That's kind of you to say Lieutenant, but please, please, please, please, please, pretty please stop calling me _ma'am_. I can handle _Shepard, Alice, XO, _and _Commander,_ but being called _ma'am_ all the time eats away at my nerves." The way Shepard said those sentences sounded so childlike, and every time she said "ma'am," she would drop her voice down into the most obnoxiously bland voice in the entire galaxy. Kaidan could only contain his amusement for so long before he was laughing like a fool as she talked.

"Sorry, ma'am—Commander," he said, correcting himself with such punctuality that he nearly yelled out "Commander" after he said the wrong word. He really had meant to call her Commander or even by her last name.

Shepard couldn't help but laugh. The fact that he had accidentally called her by the name she had just told him she didn't like was too genuine to get mad at. "It's quite alright, Lieutenant."

"So, Commander," Kaidan said, using her rank to play it on the safe side, "if you don't mind me asking, what are you doing up so late?"

"Insomnia's a bitch sometimes," she answered quickly, turning back to her omni-tool and data pad. Whether he knew it or not, Kaidan had asked a question that could delve into personal things. Personal things were not something that Shepard enjoyed having people she didn't really know ask her about. Her solution: cut off everything with the vaguest answers until the other person got the hint. It was a solution that worked 99.99% except for a couple of fresh recruits who she was forced straight up _tell_ them that it was none of their fucking business. "How about you?"

"Headache kept me from falling asleep. Now that it's gone, I'm not really tired," Kaidan said with an answer similar to Shepard's in the vagueness factor. "Not that I can complain. I've certainly got it good compared to other L2's. I only suffer migraines."

Again, everything stopped. Shepard turned to look at him, her eyes opened a bit wider with shock. "You're an L2?"

"Yeah," Kaidan answered, confused by the question. He usually got asked what that had to do with anything. "Didn't you read that in my file?"

"I make it a point not to read up on people unless it's absolutely necessary."

"May I ask why?"

"If people have something they feel I should know, then they should tell me," She responded, her eyes not focused on anything as she spoke. "I shouldn't have to read about them to get to know them. People forget that we are more than just files sometimes," Shepard looked into Kaidan's eyes to drive her next words home. "If we rely on what others say about someone to form our own opinions about them, then how do we even know we are getting it right? It takes away the human part of learning about someone when we only look at the written words of one another."

Kaidan was forced to look away from Shepard. The amount of raw emotion he could see in her blue eyes was just too much, and what she was saying didn't help him hold her gaze. She made him feel...less human because of the realization that her words were perfectly true. Kaidan didn't say anything in case he made things worse. _If I apologize,_ he reasoned, _then Shepard learns that I read up on her, and she comes to hate me...I don't think I could stand to have her hate me. It would, uh...hurt the crew and make any missions with her difficult._

"Well...this is awkward..." Shepard said quietly, breaking the silence that had drifted between them. "Sorry about that," she turned back to her work. "I forgot that I get a little preachy sometimes."

Kaidan just nodded and continued watching Shepard. He felt extremely guilty. As soon as he had heard that Shepard would be joining them on the _Normandy_, Kaidan had looked up all the files he could on her. Many of them were classified (the perks of being an N7), limiting what he could read. Now Shepard was telling him that she felt that people who read files to learn about one another were less human. He felt ashamed of himself and also questioning himself. _Why is she making me feel guilty? If it were any other solider, I wouldn't care too much. What makes Shepard any different?_

Shepard paused just a moment and looked back over at Kaidan, her eyes softened and eyebrows raised. "I'm sorry, Lieutenant. I didn't mean to give you the impression that I hate or think less of people who read up on others. Hell, I even expect it, especially in my case. It's human nature. It's curiosity, and I'm an unknown, a variable in system that was established before I was reassigned."

"It's fine, Commander," he finally said drawing himself from the unending questions plaguing his mind. "What are you working on?"

Shepard was grateful for the change in topic, and when she opened her mouth to answer a beep come from her omni-tool. Her eyes flicked over to it for a brief moment before they fixed their attention on Kaidan again. "Well, I _was_ working on a program I made and had integrated into my omni-tool. The program itself is supposed to allow me to hack into things quicker, like doors and whatnot." Shepard had a strange gleam in her eyes, a gleam of passion that Kaidan just barely picked up on. She loved talking tech. "However, it felt like it's running sluggishly, so I decided to go in and upgrade it by trimming up some of the vectors and rewriting some old code that hasn't been doing its job properly. Doing so was a bit complicated and long, and seeing as I'm not exactly sleeping right now, it seemed like tonight was the perfect night to do it. Since the upgrading process is done now," she continued, pointing over her shoulder to the general direction of her improvised work space, "All I have to do is reboot it and test it out to see if it works faster and properly."

Kaidan stared at her with big eyes. He had never heard another human, other than an engineer of some sort, speak so fluently about technology. Shepard was full of surprises. She was beautiful but almost dangerously so. She was quiet and rarely talked to anyone other than when she was issuing orders, but here she was having a long, friendly conversation with him. And she looked like someone who would shoot first, and figure out a plan a plan later; yet here she was talking about programs she had created for her omni-tool on her own so that she could hack into things instead of blasting away at them until they became itty bitty pieces. There was no figuring this woman out.

Shepard frowned at Kaidan, and that's how he realized that he was staring. _Say something, stupid!_ he scolded himself. No words came.

"Is something wrong?" Shepard said when he didn't say anything. She ran her hand through her hair, pushing it out of her face. It was a move of self-consciousness that she preformed because she thought that something was wrong with her, rather than what she said. Her hair wasn't the perfect soldier like her, though, and it fell across her face once more. The frown on her face deepened as Shepard locked her eyes on a set of particularly long strands of hair that drooped across her nose.

She now looked more silly than serious and Kaidan laughed. That was a big mistake on his end, though. Shepard thought he was laughing at her, and she started panicking, thinking she was doing something wrong or embarrassing. On the outside she looked normal, clam, save for her frown; but she was tense on the inside, preparing for the insult that usually followed in situations like these.

"Commander," Kaidan said, regaining his composure, and gaining the sense that Shepard wasn't feeling all that great about herself because she didn't know what he had laughed about, "I meant no disrespect by laughing, but the way you glared at your hair would have scared the tentacle things off an asari," he teased. "And I've never heard a woman speak so fluently in tech before. No offense, but sometimes you women are much more violent than us men." This time words didn't fail him.

Shepard's expression of uncertainty and frowning changed dramatically to a warm smile. "If you think that's interesting, than you'll find the fact that I almost became an artist instead of signing up impossible." Shepard's smile almost disappeared and her eyes grew wide, but she forced herself to act normal, like nothing had gone wrong with what she said. In all actuality, though, she couldn't believe she had just told him that. It had taken four drinks with Rebecca when they were off duty for her to give up that kind of personal information. _What the hell am I doing! _she frantically asked herself. The nervousness of having done something or said something wrong caused words to slip from her mouth in defense.

"An artist? Really?"

"Had to pass the time on Mindoir somehow," _Okay, bring up something painful so that he backs off this topic,_ "especially since the slavers held off until I was sixteen to kill everyone else off."

Kaidan winced. That was a little harsh. Most people would say that they didn't want to talk about something by just coming out and saying it. He was obviously still figuring it out that Shepard wasn't at all like most people. She had gone out of her way to make a point that she didn't do personal talks all that often by making the other person(s) feel guilty, even if they hadn't brought it up. Kaidan was going to have to remember that.

"Anyways," Shepard continued, "you should probably get some rest while you still can." Kaidan involuntarily yawned at the mention of rest. He had found this _tired_ stuff he was looking for earlier. "I heard Captain Anderson mention something about combat sims. tomorrow." Her voice drifted off and became softer as she talked more to herself than Kaidan, a kind of submissive way of telling him that she was done talking. "Probably so that he can show us off for that turian Spectre, what's-his-face..."

"Nihlus?" Kaidan offered, rising from his chair getting ready to head his bunk.

"Yeah..." Shepard's mind was already elsewhere, an effective way of getting people to _want_ to leave her alone.

"You should probably get some rest as well, Commander," he added turning to head back down the corridors he had come from to get to the mess. But then he stopped and turned back to Shepard. "Actually, would you mind installing that program of yours on to my omni-tool as well?"

"Not at all," she replied with an absent minded tone. "Do you have it with you?"

Kaidan's left forearm lit up with the same orange glow Shepard was bathed in as his own omni-tool flashed to life. It looked like orange plating hovering above his arm, not touching his skin at all, and covering his entire forearm from his elbow to his hand with the exception of his fingers. Kaidan slipped the omni-tool off his arm and placed it on the table in front of Shepard.

Pausing for only a moment from her thoughts, Shepard looked up at Kaidan and smiled. "Rest well, Alenko," she whispered musically before setting to work on his omni-tool, hair covering her eyes as it fell in the way when she looked down at it.

Kaidan simply nodded in return before he actually headed back through the Normandy's dark corridors. The further he went, the colder it seemed to become. It was like Shepard radiated some kind of heat for him, and he was half tempted to stop, turn around, and go back just so he could feel it again.

"_Rest well, Alenko._"

Shepard's words still flowed through him. The way she said his name was...amazing. There were just no words to describe how she had said it that made it different from anyone else's pronunciation. It just was, and he found himself longing to hear her say his first name. It probably sounded like the voice of an angel, singing to those that needed comfort. And the kindness in her ice blue eyes when she had smiled and looked up at him had the ability to melt anyone. Including the cold and calm Lieutenant that he had become, shaped to be so by his own past.

She was beautiful, almost dangerously so; and he was unfortunate enough to be drawn in.

* * *

><p>Shepard worked furiously away at Kaidan's omni-tool, half lost in the work, half lost in her thoughts, and completely oblivious to anything and everything that was going on around her.<p>

_Why do I find it so easy to talk to him? I never talk to anyone like I just did, so why him? _she asked, berating herself for the foolish way she had behaved when Kaidan was around. _Because I think he's handsome_, she answered, her cheeks burning with embarrassment as she realized that was indeed the reason.

She pounded away more forcefully now, hating this stupid crush she had on her Lieutenant. Her Lieutenant! There were regs against crap like this!

Groaning impossibly loud, Shepard leaned back as far as she could in her chair without tipping backward and crashing onto the floor. Things were not supposed to be this complicated. Right now she was supposed to tanning her pathetically pale skin on the warm beaches of Italy, enjoying the architecture from way back when, and blushing at the bold, romantic remarks of the Italian men that would be trying to seduce her. Instead, she was sitting in the mess of a prototype ship, criticizing herself on a school girl crush she had developed for her lieutenant; not that she didn't mind to whole being reassigned to a prototype ship rather than being on shore leave. Sure she was disappointed that she didn't get to go to Italy and brag about it to Rebecca, but she wasn't completely broken up about it. Being recalled back early from shore leave was part of the marine life. It's what you expected every time you stepped away from wherever the Alliance had you stationed. Not having shore leave at all was part of being part of the Special Forces, the N branch of the Alliance.

Shepard wouldn't have been surprised if the N in her N7 classification meant that she was "never" going to have shore leave. It made sense when she thought about it. Since graduating from the Special Forces Academy she had only had shore leave once, and that was because they feared her mental stability was completely shot out of an airlock after Akuze. Otherwise, she had always been assigned dangerous and impossible missions told only that she had to get it done other than being told to get some R and R in a warm country. The only reason her last assignment had been on a station with a normal unit was because she was brought in to teach some of the fresh biotics how to control their implants and master the dark energy they could command. Thinking back on it now, Shepard had really hated Admiral Hackett for assigning her there. An old friend may have been on the station with her, making it not totally unbearable; but the whole thing had been lacking some things that Shepard craved: action, pressure, stress, challenge, and the near death experiences that were always within reach when Shepard was assigned a _real_ mission.

The flashing text streaming from Kaidan's omni-tool began to slow down before it finally came to a stop. He had made a few changes in the original hacking program that came with it. The changes were impressive, nowhere near her own level of skill, but impressive none the least; however, Kaidan had been trying to make gold out of straw.

_Speaking of straw..._ she thought bitterly as she tried brushing her uncooperative hair out of her face. Still it defied her wishes, though, and fell back into her face. She quit while she was ahead. Most of her bangs hadn't fallen into her eyes and that, sadly, was classified as a win in her books.

Shepard leaned forward in her chair this time, the legs making a loud clank as metal crashed against metal, and started transferring her program onto Kaidan's omni-tool now that the original had been deleted._ Kaidan did seem rather impressed that I knew what I was talking about. Everyone else who's heard me talk tech always think that it—I was...weird._ The omni-tool let out a soft beep to signal that the upload had begun.

A jet of air escaped Shepard's mouth as she blew upwards to move her bangs just a little before standing up. Grabbing her thermos, she headed over to the kitchen to grab more of her sugar and calorie spiked coffee the chef had made her before he bunked up.

_It's going to be a long night,_ she thought to herself, sighing as she poured her coffee, the steam rising up along with the scent of warm vanilla and hazelnut. _Thank God for coffee, though._

* * *

><p>"Ah, Shepard, there you are," Captain Anderson said as he approached Shepard, who was standing out of the way in a dark corner.<p>

_Shit!_

She had been trying to avoid everyone at the moment, hoping that if she stayed out of sight then maybe she wouldn't have to take part in the combat simulations that they were rumored to be doing today. "Captain Anderson," she said, greeting the man with a salute.

"I suggest you wrap up anything that needs to be done," he said. "We are going to start running combat sims. at 0900."

Shepard groaned internally, but remained completely controlled and calm on the outside. "Aye, aye, sir," came her stone cold response.

Captain Anderson nodded and made to leave, but out of the corner of his eye, he saw Shepard take a hesitant step towards him as if to stop him. He turned back to the Commander, "Is there something you need, Shepard?"

Nodding, Shepard collected her thoughts, putting them into words that sounded the least offensive, "With all due respect, sir, can I know the purpose behind the combat sims? Do they even serve a purpose or are they simply just a way of trying to impress the turian Spectre..." she struggled with the name before Kaidan's gruff voice from last night echoed in her ears as a memory, "Nihlus?"

She was a sharp one. Captain Anderson had read all the reports. Shepard was a strong and individual person who had gotten used to working solo on all her missions after she became an N7. She was also flagged for having a "complete disregard for the chain of command." What really happened, the Captain surmised, was that she simply guessed the plan, reason, or purpose of a mission before she was actually told. Anderson liked her. He had never served with her, surprising since he was an N7 himself, but he knew all the official reports on her missions and not the ones released to the public. Her attitude, stance, and behavior reminded him of himself in his early N7 career, albeit she was a lot younger than he was when he joined.

"I respect you, Shepard," he said, getting two quick blinks out of her. It was the only tell tale sign that she was surprised. She was expecting something along the lines of a few words answer or a "none of you goddamn business," response. "So, I won't bull you. The combat sims. are mostly for Nihlus to see what we can do." Anderson held up his hands to hold back Shepard's protest that was about to ensue. Shaking his head he continues, "That doesn't mean it doesn't serve a purpose, though. It provides an opportunity for you to get to know the crew and evaluate how they work. It also works the other way around: the crew gets to know you, the great Commander Shepard, combat wise, your commanding style, and what to expect from you; they might even lose some of that hero worship they have for you."

"I guess that answers my 'do I have to participate' question," She grumbled to herself but not quietly enough.

"I know you must be pretty pissed off about being pulled from leave, Commander, and the last thing a soldier of your caliber would want to do is run combat simulations," Anderson snapped strictly, "but I'm not asking for what you want to do. This is a way for you to get to know everyone, and that is an important part of being an N7 and a commander; so, straighten up and start acting like one." Anderson didn't actually mean that she wasn't being an N7, not by a long shot. But she was asking questions he expected from Joker, not her.

"Aye, aye, sir," Shepard said forcefully, standing up straighter and more rigid. She knew better than to complain, and she mentally kicked herself hard for sounding like she was complaining in the first place.

"Is that all you needed, _Commander_?" the Captain asked, stressing the word _commander_ to drive the point he made a little further past home.

"Actually, I was wondering if you knew where I could find Lieutenant Alenko," her heart skipped a few beats nervously, worrying that Anderson might guess what her heart knew, but her mind denied. "I have something that I need to give him, and I also need to speak with him about something."

"Last I heard, he was in the med bay," Anderson answered, not giving away any information on what he may or may not know. "Tell him that I would like to speak with him as well when you find him."

"Thank you, sir. I will," Shepard gave him a farewell salute before walking away.

_I wonder why he's in the med bay,_ Shepard thought as she walked down the halls of the _Normandy_. Her mind instantly replayed Kaidan's voice telling her that he was an L2. A shiver ran down her spine as she thought of her own biotic implant and how it had changed her life. She silently hoped that he wasn't with Dr. Chakwas because of the side effects you get from having the L2 configurations. Migraines are terrible, but migraines induced by biotic implants must be a whole lot worse.

The doors to the med bay on the _Normandy_ chimed as they opened, letting Shepard in.

Dr. Chakwas pretty much spoke at the same time as Shepard took her first step into the med bay. "Commander Shepard, what can I do for you?"

"I'm looking for Lieutenant Alenko," Shepard answered, forcing herself to look at Dr. Chakwas and not having her gaze wandering the room. She hadn't been in this part of the ship before, and her curiosity was almost overwhelming to take a brief look around since she would almost certainly be getting intimately familiar with this room in particular due to her nasty little talent of taking hits for those that were in her squad. That was one of the reasons she preferred to do solo missions. Less chance for her to get herself killed while trying to save someone else. "I heard from the Captain that he might be here."

"He is," the Dr. Chakwas said, moving to the side so that Shepard could see behind her.

Kaidan lay on one of the beds. His hands were at his sides and his chest rose and fell as he breathed. He looked peaceful. The only thing that was off and said that he wasn't simply resting normally was the place and the fact that he still had his boots on.

Shepard's heart leapt to her throat when she saw him. Too many times had she seen crewmates, comrades, civilians in the same tranquility. Their tranquility had been caused by a stopped heart, however. Irrational fear gripped her for some stupid reason. She could see that he was breathing; she knew that he was ok. It was simply her past experiences, what she saw that made her act this way.

At least, that's what she told herself.

She really didn't know why she was acting..._nervous_ at seeing Kaidan lying in the med bay. He was a fellow soldier, they were in the safety of the _Normandy_ who was pulled into port for crying out loud, and there was nothing wrong. There was no reason why she should feel anything.

So, she didn't. She shoved it all back. She was very good at it. With all her years of doing it, she considered herself an expert at it.

"He woke up with a terrible migraine, induced by his implant, and the best way we've found for him to get through them is by sleeping," Dr. Chakwas continued.

"Do you know when he'll wake up?" Shepard asked, itching to talk to him again.

"Not for several hours, at least. The medication I gave him lasts a long time and it wasn't too long ago when I administered it. He probably won't be awake in time to run the combat simulations Captain Anderson will have you all running in thirty minutes.

_What am I going to do now?_ Shepard hummed softly to herself.

"Did you need him for something, Commander?"

"I needed to give him something. I had also hoped I would have been able to talk with him," Shepard answered emotionlessly.

"I'm not much of a secretary," Dr. Chakwas chuckled, "but I could pass on a message if you'd like."

"Thank you for the offer, Dr. Chakwas, but that's not necessary."

Dr. Chakwas nodded and moved back to her desk, starting up her holographic interface, her computer.

Shepard contemplated just leaving and catching up with Kaidan later. Then she remembered the combat sims. and how those could very well take up the entire day.

Kaidan's omni-tool flared to life in Shepard's hands as she had an idea. Her lips twitched upwards in a soft smile as she wrote out a message for him, making sure it was the first thing that popped up when he turned the omni-tool back on.

Walking over to where Kaidan lay sleeping, Shepard looked over to Dr. Chakwas, "Would it be alright for me to leave this by him?" she asked, lifting up the Lieutenant's omni-tool so that she could see what she was talking about.

"That would be fine, Commander."

The omni-tool came to rest next to Kaidan's side. It was far enough for him to be unable to knock it off accidentally, but close enough for him to notice it relatively quickly when he wakes up.

_Anderson is going to catch hell if anyone tries to use these combat sims. as a way to show off,_ Shepard thought bitterly, nodding farewell to Dr. Chakwas. _The last thing I need is some happy go lucky corporal messing around. The first thing I need is for these combat sims. to somehow be cancelled. Speaking of Anderson...I better let him know that the Lieutenant won't be able to take part in said combat sims...lucky bastard._

Her sour mood at the impending drills of death by boredom lifted for a split second as she thought back to what she had said on the message and smiled. _Hopefully he'll get a smile of it, too._

* * *

><p>Kaidan groaned softly when he finally woke up from the long, dreamless sleep the meds had put him in. His head still throbbed from the lingering pain of the migraine he woke up with earlier that morning. The lights still burned his eyes just a little, but thankfully the sensitivity to sound was pretty much gone.<p>

Shifting around a little, Kaidan sat up, messaging his temples. His head hung low, trying to get rid of the blurriness that his eyes were registering along with the lights that were made brighter than normal by his own, self-destructive mind. As his eyes focused, the orange, glowing omni-tool caught his attention. When he lifted it up from beside him to examine it, he could definitely tell that it was his; but he remembered that he had left it with Shepard.

"Good, you're awake," Dr. Chakwas' cultured voice said, tearing him away from any thoughts involving how his omni-tool came to be beside him. "How are you doing?"

"Much better."

She nodded before pulling out a data pad. "How bad was this one compared to the others?"

"It wasn't as bad as it could have been. I was at least able to make it here on my own unlike other times where the pain was just too intense," his raspy voice answered.

Dr. Chakwas nodded again and began adding things to the file she had started on Kaidan. As she was doing this, Kaidan slipped the omni-tool back on his arm, making it disappear as it retracted itself, and glanced around the med bay.

She kept this place in pristine shape. All the equipment was clean and shiny, the floors didn't have a speck of dirt on them, and all the supplies were organized perfectly despite the fact that some of the soldiers had grabbed some of the supplies when one of the engineers sliced open his arm while performing a routine check down in engineering.

"Oh, Commander Shepard dropped off an omni-tool for you. I assume it's yours." Kaidan nodded and let the tech turn back on to show her that he got it. "She also said that she wanted to talk to you. I don't know what about, but it probably involves your omni-tool," she continued as Kaidan looked thoughtfully at the omni-tool. "She wasn't very forthcoming with information, and I wasn't going to try to get it out of her. She's very good at being silent when she wants to be and at making sure that people leave her alone."

"How long ago was this?" Kaidan asked, standing up and preparing to go and find Shepard. He was just about to shut the omni-tool down again, but he noticed that there was some kind of message on it, so he just flicked it on to "sleep mode."

"It was right before the Captain began putting everyone through combat simulations," Dr. Chakwas looked at the attached to her wrist, "so...that was about seven hours ago. Maybe a little more. I didn't really pay attention to what time she came in," her voice got a little softer, "I'm going to have to start doing that though considering..."

"Considering what?" Kaidan asked, curiosity piqued. _Seven hours ago she was looking for me. Whatever reason it was, it's probably not important anymore. But what is Dr. Chakwas talking about? It sounds as though she'll be seeing the Commander often._

Dr. Chakwas looked back up at him sharply, her eyes having gone back to the data pad she held, "Huh? Oh, don't mind me," she said offering a smile in the feign hope that he would forget what she had almost slipped through the doctor-patient-confidentiality persona she always had. "Just talking to myself. You can join in on whatever the Captain's got everyone doing. They're down in the cargo bay area, I think, and from the number of broken noses I've seen this far, I think they must be boxing or something similar."

Kaidan knew when he was being told to get lost when he heard it, even though Dr. Chakwas was too kind hearted to ever say something as harsh as "get lost." However, there was a clear dismissive tone in her voice that kindly told him that she had other things that needed to be done other than talk with a L2 biotic who had just gotten rid of a migraine. His footsteps sounded hollow as the leather soles slapped against the metal floor, and the door chimed softly as he exited the med bay.

It felt as if the _Normandy_ was completely deserted when he left the sterile environment of the med bay. No one was in the mess, and that was something that never happened. You couldn't hear any voices, and the only thing that was reaching Kaidan's ears were the sounds of the various machines running on the _Normandy_.

_At least I don't have to worry about anyone reading over my shoulder,_ Kaidan thought as he pulled up a chair to the table positioned in the center of the mess. His omni-tool popped back up once more and he tapped open the message that was left for him:

_"Subject: Resting Well?_

_When I told you to rest well, I didn't actually think you'd go as far as to knock yourself out with drugs! I mean, come on! That's cheating! Hmmm...Can't say that I blame you though. I would go to extreme lengths to get out of the damn combat simulations we'll be running as you sleep, too._

_Anyway, the upgrade you wanted me to do is finished. I actually used the original program I made instead of its modified version since I'm not 100% that the modification's won't make my omni-tool blow up (I'm serious about that. This is my fourth omni-tool since the other three died in horrific, self-inflicted explosions.). Wouldn't want yours to blow up because of some miscalculations on my end._

_If you want to know more about what I actually did, all you have to do is ask. I should warn you though, it's incredibly boring and once you get me talking about ANYTHING that involves technology, it's damn near impossible to get me to shut up (hard to believe, right?). Or, at least, that's what a friend of mine says._

_—Shep."_

Kaidan's laughter echoed throughout the mess. Shepard was a whole 'nother person when anything with tech was involved. He could practically hear the sarcasm and teasing that would have been in her voice if she had been standing in front of him, saying all of that instead of it really just being read. That was also a little odd. Kaidan hadn't heard Shepard talk as freely and teasingly as the message sounded, yet he was still able to picture her saying and acting as it sounded.

_She is a mystery._

The omni-tool flicked back off and Kaidan sat in silence for a little while. _The doc said something about the cargo bay. I guess that's where I should start._

The elevator hissed as it closed behind him, and began its decent. One thing that Kaidan understand about the _Normandy_ was that if it was such a highly advanced ship, then why was the damn elevator so slow. He wasn't one to get annoyed easily, but the slowness of the elevator made him anxious.

Flexing his fingers, biotic static danced between them and Kaidan quickly concentrated on the dark energy, pushing it back into the recesses of his body. His implant helped him do this. Static may seem like a trivial thing, but this was biotic static caused by the dark energy he was able to use thanks to element zero. And if you didn't stay in complete control of the dark energy, accidents could happen, people could get killed, and that wasn't what Kaidan wanted. Killing someone with his biotics was last on his list of things he would do again.

When the doors of the elevator slid down to let him out, Kaidan was smacked with cheers, roaring laughter, and loud, exuberant talking. It was completely out of character for the Alliance. Everyone was out of character, too. People were laughing, smiling, and talking to one another as if they'd met at a bar and weren't actually still on an Alliance ship.

The crew was spread out among one or two areas. It looked as though most of the crew was up in the catwalks where Kaidan was now, and as he neared the railing, he could see where the other part of the crew was. They were down in the cargo bay which was looking a little different now. Everything down there was shoved up against the walls out of the way to create a large, open space in the center, and the crew were the walls of a circle.

The camaraderie you were hearing almost didn't betray the fact that, even though they were carrying on their own conversations, they were all paying attention to what was happening in the open area of the cargo bay. Two corporals were going at one another. There was punching, blocking, insults, the whole nine yards. It looked brutal, but Kaidan noticed that they weren't trying to kill one another. It was just like any other fighting sport.

_I guess this is why Dr. Chakwas has been seeing so many broken noses_, Kaidan chuckled. Looking around with a critical eye, Kaidan surveyed the entire area, keeping in mind that Shepard had originally wanted to talk to him, even though the message she left warned him against it.

Nihlus was in the cleared out space where the two corporals were fighting. He seemed to be acting as a referee of some sort. Captain Anders on was standing off to the left, talking with a few of the crew. Their eye met for a second and Kaidan saw the searching looking in his eyes that were like a mirror of his own. The two men nodded at one another in acknowledgment.

Still looking around the large room, Kaidan saw who he was searching for.

Her hair was brushed and smoothed down so well that it looked like individual threads of pure gold hung past her shoulders, rippling in the light with every movement she made. The paleness of her skin made it look as if she glowed softly in her blue ACU's, the dark blue fatigues hugging her curves tightly. Icy and fierce eyes were trained on someone else, sparkling with enjoyment as her sharp face was turned towards Joker. Her soft pink lips were quirked into the makings of a smile as she talked to the pilot. Pride radiated from her as she stood tall with her shoulders back and head held up confidently. Shepard was striking. Maybe terrifying in certain situations, but striking none the less.

"You really don't want to know, Commander," Joker teased, talking in his "this-is-going-to-set-me-up-for-an-I-told-you-so-moment" voice as he looked up at her from his wheelchair.

Kaidan approached and stood behind Joker. Shepard caught his eyes with her own for a moment before responding. "I'm sure how 'Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau' was shortened to 'Joker' is an interesting story."

Joker smirked at her, "I'm telling you, it's not, but if you want to hear it, that's fine by me." Shepard turned her head to one side slightly so that Joker didn't notice her rolling her eyes that much. Kaidan was close to doing a similar reaction to Joker's dramatics.

Clearing his throat, Joker told a lackluster _story_, "Hey, I didn't actually pick the name. I was given it because I love to make little children laugh."

Shepard smiled crookedly at the pilot, "Oh, I guess that explains the sudden urge I had to sit on your lap and ask you for a pony for Christmas when I first met you." She said with a teasing tone. Mind you, it was the _superior officer_ teasing the _subordinate_ tone, but it was still a form of teasing.

"Ha-ha!" Joker laughed mockingly, "you are so funny, Commander," every word was stressed and spaced out to show how much he was mocking the Commander, "you should have joined some kind of comedy club instead of the Alliance."

"Mocking the Commander so openly probably isn't the greatest idea, Joker," Kaidan said, finally speaking after watching silently and startling Joker. "She could easily break every bone in your body by just glaring at you."

"Jesus, Kaidan!" Joker exclaimed, "Don't you know you're not supposed to sneak up on people."

"It's not his fault you were completely oblivious to everything around you," Shepard snickered, defending Kaidan.

"Well, excuse me, Commander," Joker bristled, "we can't all have the _random shit's about to happen_ radar like you do. I mean that's probably the only reason you've survived that whole ordeal with Akuze."

Shepard winced at his words a little. Kaidan could see something in her eyes, but he couldn't read it. More guilt maybe. Remorse?

Joker shuffled a little, "Shit...don't mind me Commander. I didn't mean anything by it."

Shepard shook her head, rolling her eyes and dismissing his comment easily with a wall of feigned apathy. Her eyes were closed for half a second longer than they needed to when she blinked. She then fixed her gaze on Kaidan, her clear eyes becoming emotionless once more. "Glad to see you're up, Lieutenant. I was afraid you'd miss out on all the fun," she said, motioning to what was happening around them.

Joker mumbled something to himself that was inaudible to Kaidan and Shepard before he wheeled away, leaving the Commander and Lieutenant.

Kaidan watched Joker leave, wondering what his problem was. "Yeah, my migraine certainly picked a bad time to spring up."

"Or good time, if you wanted to skip out on the combat sims. like I did."

"I guess," Kaidan hummed. "You told Dr. Chakwas you wanted to speak with me?"

"I did," she said, smiling a little, "but I thought better of it when I realized how boring it must be to listen to someone drone on and on about tech."

"I wouldn't mind if it were you, Commander." It slipped out before he could stop it, and by the time he realized it, there was nothing he could do to fix it. "I, uh..."

"Save it, Lieutenant." Shepard's cheeks were a little redder than usual. _Was she embarrassed? Is she actually blushing_? "Just..." she smirked, "don't let the Captain catch you saying things like that."

"Aye, aye, ma'am."

Shepard snorted with amusement before turning her attention to what was happening below them. There was an empty spot along the railing with just enough space for the two of them, so they quickly occupied it before any of the vulturous crew could swoop down on it. Swooping is bad.

"I take it that's the _fun_ you mentioned?"

"Yep."

"Reminds me a little of boxing," Kaidan added, trying to get the conversation going.

"It's full contact sparring...so, yeah. It's basically boxing, only a little more fun," she explained. The two corporals that had been fighting had cleared out. It looked like they were waiting for two new opponents. "Nihlus brought it up. Apparently it's what the turian military would use as a method of alleviating stress before high risk missions. He suggested it as a way for us to kill some time after we finished the combat sims. Although, he used bigger words for something as simple as 'kill time.'"

"You don't sound as if you believe that, Commander."

Shepard turned to look directly at him, her eyes and emotions still firmly locked behind of solid wall of light blue ice and apathy. She held his gaze for a moment before she looked back across the cargo bay, leaning forward against the railing, one arm bracing herself on it while the other ran through her hair, brushing it out of the way. Several of the crew were talking amongst themselves while Nihlus stood off a bit watching them. "I don't. Turians don't suggest things without a reason, and Spectres don't suggest things without having some sort of personal gain because of it for themselves or the mission they're on. Since I don't know him as a person or what he's actually doing here, I'll assume it's both until I have see proof that it's one or the other or none." Again she turned back to Kaidan, "Something's not right here, and I now the Captain's in on it, but at least we don't have to worry about any malicious intent on his end." Shepard shook her head and snorted, shutting off her icy blue wall as she closed her eyes. She pushed off the railing with frustration, taking a couple of half steps back. "I'm probably just thinking into it too much."

"Maybe," Kaidan agreed quickly. He hoped that she wouldn't ask his opinion on the matter. He liked thinking that everything was as it was said, that Nihlus was here just to keep an eye on the Council's investment. Part of him found himself agreeing with Shepard's assessment of the situation, though. "It's better to think too much into things than not enough, though."

"Until it becomes an obsession and blinds you to what's really happening."

"Can't win them all."

"Ain't that the truth," Shepard laughed.

"Don't worry, Commander," Kaidan reassured her, mischief guiding his words, "if I notice that you are obsessing about something by thinking too far into it, I'll let you know."

"Good to know I've got someone looking out for me," she smiled.

"Hmm...I take it there are rules for this _full contact sparing_," he said, changing subjects.

"Yeah," she supplied dryly. "No low blows, no outside help, no cheap shots, nothing dangerous or stupid, no clawing, biting, and no killing or seriously injuring your opponent."

"Whoa...the turians run it tight."

"Kinda," Shepard agreed, leaning back against the railing before deciding to sit on it. She was now fully facing Kaidan so that he could see her eyes were on the ceiling and her eyebrows were raised in annoyance. "I may have missed a few of the rules though," he eyes drop back down to Kaidan. "That's why Nihlus is the silent ref. None of us could remember all of the rules that he listed off. It didn't help that he spoke quietly, but I got the gist of what he said."

"Turians are a bit hard to understand with that..." _for lack of a better word,_ "accent of theirs."

Shepard read his hesitation and understood what it was directed at. Laughing she said, "I'm not sure what you'd call it either."

Kaidan and Shepard stood there silent for a moment. The next _challenger_ made his way to the center of the cargo bay.

"It looks like Jenkins is up next," Kaidan mentioned to her. Jenkins and him had served together one time before this, and they had become friends of a sort.

"Oh, God!" Shepard groaned, sliding off the railing to get a better look at what was happening beneath them, and then rolling her eyes when she saw that Kaidan was right.

"You have a problem with the corporal, Commander?" Kaidan asked, ready to jump to the defense of his friend.

"My patience was worn down to about zero after running combat sims. with him," Shepard replied blankly. "Does he ever shut up?"

Kaidan chuckled, realizing the source of her annoyance and her remarks. "Can't handle a bit of hero worship, ma'am?"

"I'm no hero. Never was." Shepard's eyes drifted to the side as if she were remembering something. The ice glistened with sadness as she spoke almost guiltily. It was a touchy subject that she let pass with a slight pause before she continued. "And I can handle the whole hero worship and awe crap...most of the time. Jenkins goes way beyond that, though. He's borderline obsessive!"

"Give it some time," Kaidan reassured her teasingly. "He'll lose most of it in roughly a week."

Shepard sighed loudly, dramatically, while wearing a fake smile. "Lovely!"

Looking at the Commander, Kaidan let out a snort of amusement. "So, have you tried out this sparring yet?"

"No, not yet," Shepard answered mildly, her smile fading like an old memory: slowly. "They're running it from lowest rank on up. It gives the crew a chance to settle grudges, prove a point, or..." Shepard trailed off and made it obvious she was looking at a group of female crewmembers clustered together up on the catwalks with them, "or to impress and grab attention." Kaidan couldn't help but smile and shake his head at that. Shepard smirked. "The person next in line to fight gets to choose who they go up against, no matter what rank are; or they can pass up their turn and they just continue down the list. Most of the women have passed up their turn—the wimps. Also, if the person who was challenged to a fight wins, they can continue to be challenged by other crewmembers who watched until they are beaten or step aside and let the next person in line go."

"I thought you said you didn't know all the rules," Kaidan joked.

She shrugged, "That's just what I want to remember at the moment." Messaging the bridge of her nose she added, "I guess if someone really wanted me to, I could recite what he had told us almost verbatim."

"That's impressive."

Another shrug, "Maybe. I'm just good at remembering things I've seen or been told."

"I see. So, what does it take to win one of these fights?"

"That depends on what the two opponents decide on," Shepard explained. "They can go 'til someone yields, first landed blow—that one's a little boring—first blood—a little more interesting—and there's also first broken bone—usually the nose—and knockout. Dr. Chakwas has already expressed her extreme displeasure at the last two, but they're still options."

"And no one's challenged the 'Great Commander Shepard' yet?"

"No, no one's challenged me. My reputation must be worse than I thought," she replied with a fake frown. "I hope something happens soon, though. Joker was the only thing keeping me from being extremely bored and now you are." Shepard narrowed her eyes, and then looked over at Kaidan. "That was rude. I didn't mean for that to sound as if I was using you and Joker for entertainment."

"It's fine, Commander. I knew what you meant."

"Hah! I'm not used to that. Most people take offense, ignore, or are confused by what I say." Shepard cocked her head to the side. "Then again, I usually only every talk when I absolutely need to, like to those above me in rank or whoever I have to debrief on a mission I completed. I don't typically _socialize _with people."

"And when you do, it's usually a complete mess?"

"Usually." Shepard smirked at him. "That obvious, huh?"

"You do make it pretty obvious that you prefer to be alone...and that you don't like talking about personal matters or anything about your past," Kaidan answered quietly.

Something flashed in Shepard's eyes before she looked at Kaidan sincerely, sadly. "Listen, Alenko, I don't mean to—"

"Shepard!" came a metallic, echoed voice.

Groaning, Shepard turned her attention to Nihlus, the Spectre gone referee. "You need something, Nihlus?" she asked with mock enthusiasm.

"Corporal Richard L. Jenkins has challenged you to a match. Do you accept?"

"Of course he has." Shepard looked over at Kaidan, chuckling at how serious the turian was about this whole thing. She peered back over the edge of the catwalks down at the Spectre. "Why the hell not? I'll do it."

As she started for the elevator she stopped momentarily next to Kaidan, "I've changed my mind," she whispered. "I think I would rather stay up here and be _bored_." Then she passed him with a crooked smile.

Kaidan watched her leave, his eyes drifting to her hips slowly when they were originally on the back of her head. _Did she just...? Was she about to open up to me and share something personal? _Kaidan silently damned that turian for interrupting before he could have found out. Now he was never going to find out. He didn't even hear Joker come up behind him he was so engrossed with cursing Nihlus.

"Enjoying the view, Lieutenant?" Joker taunted.

Kaidan kept himself from jumping. He wasn't going to react the same way Joker had when their positions had been switched. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said, turning around now that Shepard had disappeared in the elevator, their doors sealing her away from view.

"Uh-huh, sure," Joker rolled his eyes.

Kaidan's eyes narrowed a little at what Joker was insinuating. "Is there something you want to say, Joker?"

"Yeah, actually," he replied copying Kaidan and narrowing his eyes at the Lieutenant as he continued to poke and prod at what he found out to be a touchy subject. "How long have you had the hots for the Commander?"

"What on earth are you talking about?" Kaidan said, making sure his voice wasn't loud enough to attract some else's attention. "I don't have—!"

"Don't lie to me, Kaidan. We're too good of friends for you to get away with that."

It was Kaidan's turn to roll his eyes. "I wasn't aware we were friends," he said, getting a grunt from Joker. "And I was just being friendly, like you were when I got here. Most of the crew still seem to intimidated to talk to her—"

"That and she pretty much scares away anyone who tries," Joker interrupted. "Only those with serious balls can handle talking to her."

Kaidan narrowed his eyes again, "and I figured she could use someone to talk to."

Joker scoffed at what he said. He clearly wasn't going to get Kaidan to confess what he already knew, so he tried a different angle. "You don't know why I was talking with her," he said slyly, "maybe I've got a thing for her."

"Yeah right," Kaidan replied. "You'd break your jaw if you even so much as tried to kiss her, and you know it."

"Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence, pal."

Kaidan shook his head. There was no way Joker would try anything. He was too in love with the _Normandy_ to look at anything that had a heart.

"You gotta admit that she is pretty good looking, though."

"She's also deadly," Kaidan said, not realizing that he fell or Joker's trap.

"Ah-ha!" Joker exclaimed in triumph. "I knew it!"

"Knew what?"

"Oh, nothing," Joker answered too quickly. "Anyway, I can agree with the whole _deadly_ thing. I'm surprised she didn't' kill me over the stupid Akuze comment I made."

"I am too." Kaidan's annoyance bubbled up. "Why did you say that, by the way? Are you that selfish and detached?"

"Come one, Kaidan. You know I didn't mean to," Joker sighed. "I just have difficulty with not saying everything that comes to my mind."

"Is there any particular reason that, that was on your mind in the first place?"

"Is there any particular reason why you're getting so pissy over something I said to the Commander?" Joker snapped.

"Yeah," Kaidan said, his voice getting dangerously close to a growl, "even someone who spends all his time in a cockpit, getting to know more machines more than people, should know that you don't open old wounds. Everyone knows her story. Her entire unit, all fifty of them, were completely wiped out by thresher maws. If that isn't an old wound, then I don't know what is."

"Well, she seemed to respond to what I said just fine."

"That's because she responded as—" _as a __**Commander**__ should and not as a real person, as Alice Shepard, would._ Kaidan shook his head. "It doesn't matter. Just don't try to talk about anything personal with her or bring up anything about her past. She's made it obvious that she doesn't do or like that kind of thing."

Joker scoffed. "Kinda like you."

"I guess."

The two men were silent, watching what was happening around them, unmoving. Kaidan had said his part, and Joker had learned all he needed to, to make fun of the Lieutenant latter.

"Huh, at least I learned something from this little talk of ours," Joker finally piped up after he got bored of watching everyone else having fun conversations.

"And might that be?"

"You _**like**_ her," he answered with raised eyebrows and a wink.

"It's not like that."

"Oh, is that so? You go out of your way to protect everyone else from old wounds then?"

"No, but—"

"Don't bullshit me, Alenko. I know what you deny."

Kaidan narrowed his eyes. He wasn't going to win. "Spread it around and I'll kill you in the most painful way possible."

"Don't worry. I'll keep your secret."

"Oh...joy."

"Maybe not from Shepard, though."

"So much as hint to it in front of her, and I'll have you begging for that 'most painful' death."

"I'm just teasing you, man. No need to get all _homicidal_ on me."

"Sure."

"...You were kidding about that, right?"

"Maybe."

"...Come on, man. Don't be like that."

"Be like what?"

"You know damn well what! Did you seriously mean the whole 'kill you in the most painful way possible' thing?"

"Well, there's only one way to find out," Kaidan replied, continuing to be vague in his answers. "And there's one obvious way to make sure that even if I wasn't kidding that you would continue to live."

"Aw...shit."

* * *

><p>Holy mother of god this one's long. The worse part is, is that there was more planned for this, but I decided to break it off and put it in the next chapter. That means that either in the end of next chapter or in the one after it, we'll finally start Eden Prime (about damn time, I know).<p>

So if you see anything that's wrong (grammar, spelling, sentence phrasing, etc...) please inform me so that I might fix it. :) thanks for reading.


	3. Knockout

**Yeah! More Fluff! I didn't realize how big this was going to be until I finished. I promise Eden Prime will be in the next chapter. I swear it will be! **

**So yeah...fluff, fluff, fluffy, fluff, fluff. If you see anything wrong (spelling, grammatical, or it just doesn't make sense) please tell me so that I can fix it and make this story a lot easier to read.**

**Thank you! :)**

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><p><strong><span>Knockout<span>**

Jenkins was bouncing with excitement. Literally. He was dancing on one foot to the other and would occasionally take a few swings, punching the air like he was preparing for a fight, which he was. Or, like an idiot. Shepard decided on the latter.

The scene changed, however, when she stepped away from the confinement and safety of the elevator, with its wonderful ability to muffle all sounds and make most of them inaudible. When Jenkins saw her, he stopped messing around and stood rigid next to Nihlus. As she approached, Jenkins saluted her, and everything seemed to quiet down. Only hushed voices could be heard down in the cargo bay where she was. Most of it was about the fact that Commander Shepard had accepted. Others were about how stupid Jenkins was for challenging her in the first place. And some were statements of surprise that the Commander had even accepted. A commander that not only was stoic, but also quiet and cold, unmoving and hard-assed. If anything was said in the catwalks, it was probably the same as what was said by the crew in the cargo bay, but they still seemed silent. Perhaps it was the distance, or perhaps the spectators were really interested in what was about to go down.

Shepard scanned the faces, looking for one in particular. One with soft brown eyes, a strong, stoic but kind face, dark hair, and tanned skin. One whose voice swam through her head and tore it up at times.

He was standing next to Joker, peering over the railing. Joker was wearing a frown that was mostly hidden by that silly baseball cap he wore. The frown was probably because he couldn't see very well from his wheelchair. Kaidan didn't have much of an expression, not surprising. He was always calm, cool, and collective. Still, how unreadable his eyes were at this particular moment was a bit unsettling. He looked guarded and a bit rigid. He gave her a nod when he noticed her looking at him, though; and his eyes softened some as the corners of his lips twitched up into the makings of a smile.

Shepard turned back to Nihlus and Jenkins. _Let's get this over with._

"I trust you know the rules, _Commander_," he said, his voice echoing throughout the entire area. He spoke louder than he had for previous matches and everyone was much, much quieter than they had been for the other matches as well. Shepard got the feeling that this wasn't as simple as it seemed again; just like the combat sims. There was something more to this than friendly fighting. Someone was getting something out of this, and there was really only one suspect who would have a good motive: Nihlus. Not to mention, the turian Spectre had said a statement with that question. He expected her to know the rules. He was expecting something from her.

"All the ones that you told us, anyways," she answered nonchalantly, not using any words or tone that suggested whether or not she valued him as someone above her or under her. "For all I could know, you could have conveniently left some out."

The mandibles on the turian's face flared out. "Trust issues, Shepard?"

"You haven't given me a reason to trust you," Shepard crossed her arms and cocked her head to one side. The entire place seemed to take in one breath and hold it. Things were looking tense to them. Things were feeling tense to them. Shepard didn't see or feel it, though. She felt...right. She felt that this needed to be said, that the Spectre needed to be brought down from his throne and shown how real soldiers act. "You also haven't given me any good reasons to shoot you, yet. So, I'm neutral, for the moment, when it comes to how I should treat you."

"Fair enough." The breath was immediately exhaled. You could almost hear and feel the release. "There is one rule I haven't had to mention until now," the turian replied. "No biotics can be used in a match unless both opponents can wield them and both agree to use them. And since Corporal Jenkins isn't a biotic..."

"I don't use my biotics all that often anyways," she shrugged, her hands falling to her sides as she took a stance that offered a bit more balance. "It's not a big loss."

"Alright...Corporal what are the terms of this match? What have you decided on?"

"Well..." Jenkins started.

"I have a request, Corporal, if I may," Shepard cut in quickly. _Okay, Alice, loosen up, loosen up, loosen up. Really loosen up. Try to have some fun. Act like Rebecca would want you to...only not as reckless. Be...__**human**__, an Alliance soldier...another one of the boys._ The young soldier nodded, and Shepard continued "Don't pick any of that pussy shit like first landed blow or yield."

Jenkins was surprised for a moment. He had barely heard the Commander say anything outside of issuing orders, asking questions, and greetings. He certainly wasn't expecting her to sound like a normal soldier or even talk in a light tone. Commander Shepard was a hard-ass, not some smooth talking, "one of the boys" type of soldier, right? Uneasiness passed through him like an invisible tremor: felt, not seen. She was asking for a longer more exciting fight. His enthusiasm and pre-adrenaline rush soon took over, though, washing away any troubling thoughts and feelings he may have had about going up against his commanding officer. She was picked to become an N7 and passed through the Academy with flying colors and new records, then she was promoted to Commander because she deserved it. Of course she'd want a real fight, and he silently decided to give her one.

"Of course, Commander," he smiled. "I was hoping for a real fight anyways! Taking down you is what I call a real fight."

His enthusiasm was commendable in Shepard's opinion, but it was clouding his judgment—_Really? Commendable? Stop failing at loosening up and DO IT._

"You think you can take me down?" Shepard asked, raising an eyebrow and smirking in amusement.

"Hell yeah! You aren't as scary as you think you are. No offense."

"And that's why no one else has challenged me?" She retorted, loosening up. "Because I'm 'not as scary' as I think."

"Well..."

Shepard's smirk turned into a full on smile as she taunted Jenkins. "That's what I thought. So, tell me Jenkins, who you tryin' to impress?"

"I'm not trying to—"

"It wouldn't happen to be are very own Caroline Grenado, would it?"

_Jackpot!_ Jenkins entire face lit up like a stoplight. He was bright red and his eyes were huge as he stared at Shepard in disbelief.

"My, my, Corporal," she continued, winking at Jenkins, "you're looking quite red from where I'm standing."

Whistles and catcalls came from everywhere and they filled the entire cargo bay. Jenkins looked as if he were about to pass out. A single drop of sweat streaked from his forehead down his cheek.

"At least I don't have to worry about fraternization," he managed to stutter out, looking rather pleased when he did.

"Maybe not," Shepard teased, "but you do have to worry about me kicking your ass and making a fool out of you."

Jenkins wasn't sure how to respond to that. He could continue to stand there like the fool Shepard had already made him out to be, or he could act on her words and prove that he wasn't as weak as she made him look. "Talk is cheap."

Her smile widened devilishly, "It certainly is. Don't worry, though, I'll go easy on you."

"Go easy on me?" He questioned, his own smile spreading across his face. "I want you to fight me as if I was a real enemy. That way you might prove a challenge. "

"Have you come to a decision on the terms," Nihlus asked, interrupting whatever Shepard might have thrown back at Jenkins. This caused him to be on the receiving end of one of her bone chilling glares.

"Huh? Oh, yeah," Jenkins stammered. He had almost forgotten about the turian ref. "We'll go 'til one of us is knocked out."

Shepard looked back up at Kaidan with her eyes opened a little wider than normal. _Shit. I just pressured someone under my command into letting me knock them out._

Kaidan must have picked up on what she was thinking because he mouthed two words to her. The distance posed a bit of a challenge, but Shepard was still able to read his lips. "Go easy," was what he had just said.

"Knockout, huh?" Shepard took a couple of steps back, dropping her gaze back down to Jenkins. "You sure you can handle that?" She bottled up the worry over the repercussions and continued to sound as though she was still bullshitting around with him.

"Of course I can!" He countered. Words were pouring out of his mouth like a waterfall before his brain could even figure out what he was saying. "No one I've ever served with has died, and your whole unit was wiped out on Akuze. If anything, that proves that I'm a better soldier than you because I know how to keep my comrades alive."

That was a kick in the head for Shepard. She even flinched back from what he said, but Jenkins was too caught up in the moment to see it, just like everyone else. Only a select few saw her reaction, saw the tightened jaw, and saw the murderous gleam that flashed through her eyes as she looked at him. _Sorry Kaidan, but I don't usually let people talk that way about me and live. Joker is a special case. I've figured out that he can't help himself. But Jenkins...Jenkins won't be cut any slack. I won't go easy on him._ _He at least gets his life, although he'll be really embarrassed for awhile._

"You can certainly talk," Shepard replied, a harder edge in her voice and a wild look in her eyes, "but can you dance?" The last part of her question was nearly growled as she brought her hands up, fingers clenched together into tight fists. She stood loosely. Her body was relaxed, but she still stood ready for a fight, ready to give Jenkins the challenge he wanted.

Jenkins copied her moves, bringing his fists up as well, boxing style. Only he was much more rigid than she was.

Nihlus backed away from both fighters, his hands raised, ready to signal for them to fight. "Begin!" he called loudly.

Jenkins rushed forward towards Shepard, hoping that his speed might catch her off guard. He also brought back his right fist, telegraphing that his next move was to swing at her with it. But what Jenkins clearly forgot was that he was facing a legend. He was facing Commander Shepard, an N7; and when he brought up Akuze and left it on a sour note, he had stirred up a savagery in Shepard that only surfaced when her survival was on the line or the survival of those she cared about. He stirred up the more vicious parts of _Alice_ Shepard, one of the last survivors of Mindoir, and the _last_ survivor of Akuze. He was facing someone with serious scars, and someone who wasn't going to take anything that brought up her past lightly.

Alice easily read Jenkins moves and blocked his blow from the right with her left arm, displacing all the energy and momentum carried in that first punch, taking away all of his defenses and taking away most of his balance. She did this with just one block.

With his first attack thwarted in milliseconds, it was already Alice's turn to strike back; and she called on all the strength, discipline, and skill Commander Shepard had thanks to the Alliance. She drew back her own right fist, and lashed out with the same first attack as Jenkins. Alice aimed for his jaw.

CRACK!

It was loud and sliced through the air. Everyone heard it. Everyone also saw Jenkins drop to the floor like a sack of bricks immediately after Alice's first blow connected. He didn't move.

Gasps of astonishment rippled through the crew as they whispered to one another that the Commander had just knocked out Jenkins with one blow.

Alice stepped back, moving away from Jenkins unconscious form. The pride of beating him so easily and in the first round was completely obliterated as Commander Shepard resurfaced. She had lost control and looked down at Jenkins with transparent horror.

He was still breathing, thank God, and she still couldn't believe how easily she lost control, how well Akuze still threw her into chaos. It took all her strength and willpower to fight the urge to continue moving backwards away from it all.

Surveying the room as casually as she could, all the expressions of shock were directed at her. There were some of worry aimed at Jenkins. They all masked an emotion called fear though.

Shepard had affectively gotten their attention, and maybe even lost a little trust in the process. No doubt the crew would be very uneasy about her being around now. All of this was a bad thing for a commander who _needed_ the trust and loyalty of her crew. She was going to have to work a little harder at gaining it now.

"You two!" Nihlus finally snapped splitting the air with the same force as the first and final blow of the match. "This is like any other knockout, so treat it as such. Take him to Dr. Chakwas."

Two of the crew jolted out of the trance Shepard's little stunt with Jenkins had put them in and quickly picked up Jenkins. They carefully carried him to the elevator, the chime of its doors closing behind them being the only thing to rupture the silence that still clung to the once merry and flamboyant crew.

Finally someone broke the silence: Joker. "Damn! Well, I'm certainly glad she's on our side!"

Nervous chuckling started up, and another person picked up on how to turn fear into welcoming. This time it was Kaidan, "Yeah. If she can put people down with one blow, then all we have to do is give her a gun, fire her at our enemies, and they'll be dead before she even touches the ground."

Thunderous laughter erupted in the cargo bay now. This time it was more sincere than the previous chuckling.

"Who needs tanks when we got Commander Shepard?"

The whole place seemed to be vibrating with tremors as people praised Shepard's strength. None of them had seen her in action, but apparently the one hit knockout she dealt was enough for them to devise that she was an unstoppable force when she wanted to be.

The talking continued for some time, and Nihlus seemed content with just letting it happen. So, Shepard took the time to look around and see what everyone's faces said, telling her what they were thinking. That's when she caught sight of Captain Anderson. He was standing amongst a small group, but he was still alone, and he was watching her. She could feel it. Only when their eyes met did he look away from her. His face was a cold wall. Whatever reason or feelings he felt towards her were sealed away behind that wall, a wall that all N7's apparently gain after or during their training.

"Alright!" Nihlus yelled, barely reaching a volume loud enough to get over the voices of everyone else. "Does anyone else wish to challenge Commander Shepard?"

A sudden drop in the laughter and conversation occurred again. Crewmembers were asking whether or not they would challenge her, who would be stupid enough to challenge her, and whether or not the next opponent would get to keep their spine. All of it was talk, though. No one actually sounded serious about it. They were just bullshitting one another about it. It looked as if Shepard was going to have to go back up to the catwalks and wait for her name to pop up again.

"I'll challenge her," a recognizable and gruff voice called out from above. Shepard turned to see Kaidan leaning over the railing, an amused expression accented by a smirk. She could barely contain her own amusement or refuse the smile that was teasing her lips. "Of course that depends on whether or not she thinks she's up to it."

"Bring it, Alenko," she taunted, relaxing the tension she received after knocking out Jenkins. "I'll make you wish you'd stayed up there with Joker."

Shepard always talked easiest when there was adrenaline or violence involved. You couldn't see the quiet, accusing looks you got when something else was picking up your attention. There was something about exerting yourself that made Shepard more easy going even though in reality she was on high alert and ready for anything. The little _pep talk _she gave herself about loosening up helped some. It was mostly the adrenaline...and maybe the company.

"So, how's this going to work, Commander?" Kaidan asked once he had made it down to where Shepard and Nihlus stood.

"You're the challenger, Lieutenant, you get to choose," Nihlus replied with cold flatness.

"Hey, ref," Shepard said with mock enthusiasm while rolling her head lazily in the direction of the Spectre, "why don't you go and run some calibrations while we mutually agree on the terms of this match. I hear turians like them."

Nihlus...growled at Shepard as he strode off towards a couple of crates and a few of the crew. Everyone was anxious. They were talking much more now, the buzzing of their conversations moving faster than bees on a mission.

Kaidan shook his head, "Was that really necessary, ma'am?"

"I haven't been standing here that long, and I'm already tired of him breathing down my neck," Shepard said, unease flickering through her bright eyes, "and it feels as if he's...watching me or something."

"Just, take it easy...turians can be difficult to gauge sometimes and easy to make an enemy," Kaidan mentally kicked himself. He said a little too much. Shepard might be able to make connections, read between the lines.

"Speaking from personal experience, Lieutenant?" Shepard saw the writing on the wall.

"Maybe, but...ah, don't we have terms to a match that need to be agreed on?"

"Right," Shepard nodded, "but don't think I'm going to let you get away without telling me about that _experience_, Lieutenant."

"I'll tell you some other time, maybe."

"I guess that's fair," Shepard sympathized. "I'm a secretive stranger you met only a short time ago. Anyways, tell me, Lieutenant," she continued, narrowing her eyes in a way that showed she was up to no good, "you want a normal fight or a _fun_ fight?"

"That depends," Kaidan chuckled. "What's your idea of a fun fight?"

"Nothing short of a full out biotic war between the two of us," she smiled wickedly at him.

"What?" Kaidan exclaimed. "We'll kill each other, ma'am!"

"Not if we're careful." Kaidan didn't look convinced, so Shepard continued. "Just humor me for a moment. We'll still fight hand to hand as well, but we'll also use our biotics. We'll hold back and we won't be trying to kill each other, so we'll be fine."

"There's still a chance we'll snap the other's neck if we go for a knockout, though," Kaidan argued.

"Which is why we'll go for yield," Shepard explained. "Think of it as a boxing or wrestling match, only we'll be pulling, throwing, and occasionally warping one another along with throwing punches."

Kaidan hesitated, "Come one, Lieutenant. I've managed to loosen up a bit, maybe you should too."

"Well," he finally said, "since we're tossing safety out the airlock, might as well authorize kicking as well."

"You took the words right out of my mouth," she teased.

Kaidan rolled his eyes at her. "We'll have to have everyone clear out down here."

"I'm sure they'll realize soon enough that they need to move."

"No," Kaidan said firmly. "We're going to warn them about what's going to happen."

Shepard looked at Kaidan, her head tilted to one side. She was confused in the sudden change in him from hesitation to strict and firm. Whatever had happened to make him wary of biotics not just for himself but for other must have had major repercussions. Repercussions and bad memories that he still carried with him.

"Alright, Lieutenant," she nodded, her light and teasing tone dissipating, "we'll do it your way."

"Thank you, Commander," came his guarded response.

"Now, let's us get that double voiced, turian megaphone over here and fill him in...Hey, Nihlus! Ready to get this match over with?"

It didn't take long to fill the Spectre in. he was surprisingly eager to have the biotic match even after they told him what all was going to happen. It was harder to get Kaidan to fully agree to it since he was still worried about hurting one another or any of the crew. "Understandable, but not necessary." The Spectre had said, shrugging off Kaidan's worry and adding to it because of his easy dismissal.

"If you really don't want to use biotics, Lieutenant," Shepard said once everyone was cleared out of the cargo bay and up in the catwalks, "we could just use our fists."

There was hesitation. _Come on, Kaidan. Loosen up a little. You know Shepard will be careful, and you're always careful. Try to have fun, I mean, even Shepard's loosened up._ "And rob you of the only way you could have a small chance of beating me? That doesn't seem fair," he teased, "Commander."

"So, the mighty Lieutenant thinks he can best me, huh?" A mischievous gleam rippled through her eyes of ice.

"You don't have to think hard about facts."

"Oooohh!" The male crew hooted and hollered over the burn Kaidan dished out, while the female crewmembers booed.

Shepard crossed her arms over her chest. She threw out one of her hips, placing all her weight on one leg to add a bit of attitude in the way she stood. Her lips were spread in an unimpressed smile, and her eyes were up on the ceiling now as she dragged out how long it usually took to roll your eyes.

Kaidan took a few steps back and placed both hands on his hips. He had his head ducked down just a bit so that he had to look up slightly to see Shepard straight on. Everything about him screamed cocky. The smile on his face. The spark and fire in his soft brown eyes. All of it. He wasn't recklessly cocky, though.

"Keep talking, Kaidan," they both began to circle one another like jungle cats ready to strike. "You're just giving me more reasons to knock you on your ass."

"I doubt you would."

"Oh. Really?"

"Yeah," he teased, winking. "You seemed to enjoy the view. You wouldn't want to spoil it now would you?"

All the female crewmembers gasped loudly, the men whistled at how nicely Kaidan transitioned from her toughness to making her _uncomfortable_.

Shepard's cheeks burned with embarrassment. She didn't let that stop her, though. "At least I can be subtle about it, Mr. My Eyes are Cleary Not on Your Face Anymore," she tossed back, rolling her head from side to side, cracking her neck loudly.

The female crew started wolf whistling and cat calling Kaidan now. His cheeks turned the same shade of red Shepard's had been.

"What can I say? A woman's...assets," his eyes narrowed and his smile grew, "can be quite nice to admire from time to time."

This time Shepard whistled. "Only if you don't get caught."

Kaidan snorted, "Are we going to stand her and bull each other, or are we actually going to fight, Shepard?"

"I was just giving you some time to reconsider the mistake you made in challenging me," she teased, ginning wolfishly.

The lines of rank between the two had quickly disappeared. They were just two soldiers now, tossing back "insults," mockery, and taunts like two old friends. Regulations the Alliance had set up didn't matter to either of them anymore. The barriers they put up collapsed. Kaidan was just Kaidan right now. He was someone who knew how to enjoy himself, how to bull back and forth with someone, and how to let go of most of the restrictions he placed on himself. The Commander was simply Shepard at the moment. She was tough, knew how to have a good time, and didn't mind being in a crowd. She didn't let Alice or the Commander personalities collide into something awful. They would easily ruin the merriment through their quiet and wish to be distant from others.

"Sure you were, Shepard," Kaidan smirked, tensing up in anticipation for whatever was going to happen next. "Sure you were."

* * *

><p>They destroyed each other.<p>

The crew was completely silent as they watched the match that quickly escalated to a battle and then surpassed even that classification and turned out to be a full out war. The railing, which was originally held as the best spot to be, was now abandoned as the crew kept their distance from it. A few of them had already come close to being caught in the dark energy the two biotics threw at each other. The fear of actually getting caught in it caused them to keep their distance and to be ready to move in case they still weren't far enough away.

Breaths escaped the two fighting soldiers' lips at a remarkable speed. They were sucking in air almost as quickly as they were exhaling it. Their bodies were slicked with sweat as the stood facing each other, fits raised and tense as they waited for the other to begin the next barrage of biotics and blows.

Kaidan was sporting a broken nose and a huge bruise on the side of his face. Blood covered his face and had dripped onto his blue fatigues. His left shoulder was a bit sorer than the rest of him, and that was probably because it was the first thing the wall came into contact with when Shepard threw him at it. All the pain, fatigue, and soreness he was feeling was ignored, though. He pushed it back and stood alert, ready for anything, his stance widened for better balance since Shepard seemed to enjoy compromising said balance.

Shepard's top and bottom lip were split open, and she was proudly wearing the makings of a black eye. Her right wrist was sprained after landing on it awkwardly while she was dodging a warp. Golden hair was knotted and clung to her neck and forehead, wet with sweat. Loose and numb was how her body felt. She was on her toes, though, ready to move in quickly or step out of the way in a flawless maneuver. All her N7 training had made her a tough fighter, a brilliant strategist, and an incredibly strong force that shouldn't be reckoned with, a perfect soldier. But Mindoir and Akuze were what had made her a survivor and someone who could keep moving even after her body was broken beyond repair. That's how she kept moving even after she was convinced she either broke or fractured her right ankle.

Locking eyes, they both watched for any flicker of movement, any sign on their face that could betray the other's next move. They were seasoned soldiers, though; hardened and tempered with experience, they were unreadable to each other.

Shepard's eyes narrowed just a fraction and Kaidan took the initiative. Reaching out, he quickly used his biotics to pull a nearby crate, sending it hurtling towards the Commander.

She had good reflexes, though. She saw the oncoming crate and already had a counter in mind. Reaching for her own biotics, she created a barrier. It was a huge one too. About three times the size of a personal barrier, and it was more powerful than Kaidan had ever seen any human create. It formed almost a sphere around Shepard and looked like blue glass. She held her hands out at her sides as if she were keeping to enemies from colliding into one another, her hands lit up like two blue stars due to the dark energy she used.

The crate hit the barrier at incredible speed and ricocheted off it, heading for the catwalks. There were a few gasps and started shouts as the crewmembers in the area the crate was heading rushed out of the way; however, the crate slammed harmlessly against the railing, denting it and sending the shrieking sound of metal on metal throughout the entire cargo bay.

As the crate was hitting the catwalks and falling back to the floor, Shepard had dropped the barrier and took one step towards Kaidan. Her hands were still glowing with the ominous blue of dark energy; although, now they weren't held up as if warding off attackers on either side of her like before. Instead, she held a palm outstretched towards Kaidan.

A column of what looked like blue fire leapt towards where he stood. The destructive power was incredible. Her biotics were painfully strong. For both the receiver and the user.

Kaidan managed to roll out of the way, barely getting enough distance between him and the torrent of dark energy to avoid being pounded by it.

Anyone of any other species would have used a ton of energy on such an incredible force of dark energy being knitted into a projectile of such size while somehow being controlled and directed to only one area. Shepard managed to stay on her feet, however, even though anyone else who tried to replicate what she did would have passed out. Light headedness was only the immediate price she paid along with a few other minor things.

Her limbs felt heavy and sluggish. Her vision had blurred after the initial release of the biotic typhoon and now black shadows clung to the corners of it momentarily. Breathing was difficult now, her lungs screaming for more air. Ragged gasps shook her, as did the adrenaline and tiredness that was drifting though her.

Kaidan came out of his roll and sprang to his feet, rushing forward towards the now weakened Shepard. _No way she can fight after a biotics display like that._

Again Shepard surprised him. She easily leaned back out of his first, most powerful blow, blocked the other three, and then landed a blow on his jaw with her left. Dancing out of the way, Shepard nimbly avoided Kaidan's swift kick; but she unintentionally gave away that she was favoring her right leg. Unbeknownst to her, Kaidan had picked up on it.

Kaidan tried for close quarters combat once more, their biotics being evenly matched in some areas while their strengths and weaknesses evened out the field completely.

Shepard matched each of his blows with a block or a feign of some sort, only receiving a blow to the shoulder when she needed to step back with her right to get out of the way but was a little slow. That's when Kaidan decide to exploit the weakness he found.

A deft kick to her right ankle amplified with his biotics caused Shepard to hiss and grimace in pain. Her right knee buckled, and for a moment, Kaidan thought he had the advantage.

Defeat was something Shepard didn't accept, however. And she certainly didn't accept defeat that was caused by her own weakness or wounds. She pushed back the pain and pushed herself up with her right leg, flinching all the while. Her retaliation let her get within a hairsbreadth of Kaidan since he was expecting to put her in a position where she could only yield; and Shepard came up swinging, connecting with his stomach with a full biotic punch.

The air was knocked out of him violently as Kaidan was thrown back by the force of the punch.

Shepard was really shaky now. The energy she had used on biotics was taking its toll on her. It was only adrenaline and sheer will that kept her standing and in this fight. This needed to end.

Kaidan rolled over onto his hands and knees to push himself up, but he was suddenly and roughly forced back onto the ground with something placed firmly on his neck and his arm was twisted back at a slightly painful and fully awkward position. He was barely able to turn his head, but it was just enough to see what was going on. It was Shepard. She had him in a position where yield was the only option. If he tried to get up physically on his own, he would easily dislocate his shoulder in the process. If he tried to use his biotics, he would either kill Shepard or break his neck if she countered with her own biotics.

_Well, I'll be damned..._

The rise and fall of Shepard's chest as she drew breath was chaotic and dramatic. Her cheeks were pink with the heat of her own body, but her icy eyes still had the same coldness in them; although, right now, it was hidden. Her lips were pulled up into a smile, and her eyes were soft.

"Do you," breath, "yield?" She finally managed, her words soft and slightly cut off as she gasped for air.

Kaidan was in the same shape as her. His breaths were ragged and shallow, too. Breath, breath, "I yield," breath.

Cheering and boos flooded the cargo bay as the biotic fiasco came to an end. The match had taken much longer than the three rounds you were supposed to have. Hell, even with the extra overtime, they still had to toss the round thing out so that they could keep going, much to Nihlus's disappointment. They wanted to keep going. They wanted to see who was better, stronger...And the crew needed time to get the bets in anyways. Besides, the crew didn't mind too much; although now they did since there was a victor and a loser. Credits were being exchanged or were soon going to be exchanged.

Shepard continued to keep Kaidan in the hold, making a point to lean back and look... "You were right, Alenko," she said once the crew had quieted down. "It is a nice view."

The crew started back up again, whistles and shouts bounced off the walls, and if Kaidan's face hadn't already been red from the heat of the fight, he would have turned ten shades redder. Now it was only two.

Laughing, Shepard let Kaidan go before helping him up.

"You two get yourselves to the med bay now," Captain Anderson's voice erupted over top of every other voice and noise. Shepard and Kaidan looked away from each other and up at the catwalks where the Captain stood. "Then get cleaned up. You two have the rest of the day off."

"Can we leave the _Normandy_, sir?" Shepard hollered up at him.

"I'll think on it, Commander."

"Well, that's better than nothing," Kaidan sighed as he held out a hand, motioning Shepard to take the lead and head for the elevator. His eyes drifted down once she was in front of him.

"What was that about not getting caught, Alenko?" Shepard asked glancing back over her shoulder with a smile.

Kaidan quickly averted his gaze over to the side, feeling the burn of his cheeks even if their redness still couldn't be picked out. Shepard's laughter drifted towards him as she entered the elevator.

As the door sealed shut, closing them off from the rest of the crew, Shepard exhaled loudly, almost desperately, as her shoulders slouched. The tough façade she used to keep everyone away from her crumbled as she hobbled over to the corner, favoring her right ankle drastically.

Alarm marked Kaidan's face. "Are you alright, Shepard?"

"Yeah," she said as she leaned against one of the walls of the elevator and slid down. Her arms were resting on top of her knees as she hung her head. "I messed up my ankle bad, though, and that kick of yours didn't help much."

"I'm sorry. If I had known—"

Shepard waved her arm in dismissal. "Shut it, Alenko. You knew and you saw a weakness and you exploited it. If I had been in your shoes, I would have done the same thing. It was something you would do in any real fight, and I didn't expect anything less." She looked up at him through her bangs, icy blue eyes warm, "I am surprised that you managed to see that I was favoring it at all in that fight. I thought I had it locked down tight."

"Your dodges seemed a little off to me towards the end," Kaidan replied. "Only after my last push did I finally figure out why they were off."

"Huh, well, you certainly have gotten more blows in than most. That in itself is victory."

"I still got my ass kicked."

"No you didn't," Shepard teased. "I made sure that your ass stayed in mint condition. That way," she winked, her beaming smile filling the elevator, "my view wouldn't be spoiled."

Kaidan's stared at her with a straight face for a few seconds before he finally couldn't contain it anymore, and his laughter burst from him explosively. Shepard soon joined his laughter with her own. They were two soldiers with no rank, laughing over their flirting.

The momentum of the elevator dragged out even more before it finally shuddered to a stop. The smile on Shepard's face slowly dropped before it disappeared completely and she retained her guarded persona once more, her eyes becoming a light blue wall and shutting out most emotions.

The doors chimed loudly within the small area as Kaidan offered Shepard a hand. "Need some help getting up, Commander?" he asked, switching back to the formalities that had been ignored.

She sat there rigid for a moment, not entirely sure what to do. "That would be greatly appreciated, Lieutenant," she finally answered, grasping the offered hand with her own. She felt a little bad for accepting his help. No doubt he was as sore and tired as she was, yet he was still being the gentleman.

As she rose up, her ankle hindered her movements, and she stumbled a little...a little closer to Kaidan. In fact, she had to grab a hold of his shoulder to steady herself. Meanwhile, as Kaidan was helping her up, he noticed her stumble and also tried to help her regain her balance with steadying her by grabbing onto her hips.

They stood there for a little bit, looking at each other with guarded expressions, shocked at what had just happened before Shepard coughed nervously and they both sprang apart.

"Um..." Kaidan stammered, not quite sure what to say.

"We, uh, we were heading for the med bay, right?" Shepard tried to say, not doing much better than Kaidan.

It was.

"Uh, yeah. We were," Kaidan answered.

Awkward.

"Well, then," she said, clearing her throat, "let's get to it before the entire crew gets up here and is able to watch me limp to the med bay."

Right on cue, the elevator doors hissed as they closed and the groan of it sliding down that shaft reached their ears.

"Do you need any help, Commander?" Kaidan asked kindly.

"I've had enough help for one day, Lieutenant," she replied with a smirk. "But, thank you for the offer."

The med bay wasn't that far from the elevator. All you had to do was turn a corner and it was right front of you. It was Dr. Chakwas' domain, and she was probably going to give Kaidan and Shepard hell for the state they were in. They both had that mindset when it came to that.

"Captain Anderson told me that you two were coming to see me," Dr. Chakwas said, applying her uncanny ability to talk just as the doors to her med bay were parting, "and I now see why he didn't tell me more than that. What were you two up to?"

"You know those broken noses you kept seeing and told me about, Doctor? I, uh, kind of found the source of them," Kaidan answered with a smile. "They're running full contact sparring down in the cargo bay."

Dr. Chakwas immediately turned her gaze to Shepard, who was indifferent about what she was implying with her stare.

"Don't look at me," she said calmly as she hobbled over to a nearby bed. "It was our turian guest's idea, and Captain Anderson agreed with it." She hoisted herself up onto the bed, avoiding using her ankle and bumping it against anything.

"And you both look as if you've been dragged into hell because of it."

"The Commander suggested we use biotics in our match," Kaidan offered, taking the heat of the conversation off of himself.

"Biotics?" Dr. Chakwas asked in alarm, turning to look at Shepard in the eye. "Are you crazy, Commander?"

"Don't doubt my insanity, Doctor," she sighed. "That way it won't surprise you when it comes out all the time."

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised when it comes to you ever, given the reports you have."

Shepard laughed dryly at that, shaking her head.

Kaidan was curious; perhaps he could get something out of Dr. Chakwas now that Shepard was here. "You're obviously not insane, Commander. Trigger happy and violent, yes, but not insane."

"I was almost honorably discharged after Akuze under the belief that my," Shepard winced with her left eye, "mental stability was compromised."

"Seriously?" Kaidan asked, his eyes widening.

Shepard nodded as Dr. Chakwas began to grab certain things and place them out before the two soldiers.

"You should probably keep in mind, Kaidan," Dr. Chakwas said as she continued gathering medi-gel and the like to patch them up, "that the Commander isn't one to talk much."

"Why should he when the good doctors and therapists didn't?" Shepard spat out coldly.

"Those good doctors and therapists didn't know you," the experienced doctor said friendly.

"Yeah, well," Shepard said smiling, "they weren't exactly eager to get to know me either. Too busy taking notes as I refused to say anything."

"They're doctors," Kaidan offered. "What would you expect?"

"Someone who takes the time to get to know their patient so that they can get a better understanding of them before they put their insufficient findings into a report that forever stains the record of the patient and colors the opinions of others." Dr. Chakwas answered Kaidan's rhetorical question with a bit of amusement.

"I meant no offense, Dr. Chakwas. You are an amazing doctor, don't get me wrong, but not all of the doctors out there are as kind and understanding as you are. And some could use a bit of your patience as well," Kaidan said.

"My, my, my, Lieutenant Alenko," Shepard teased. "You're quite the flatterer."

"There's a difference between flattery, kind honesty, and being a gentleman, Commander," Kaidan responded, smiling a little.

"There's also a difference between saving your ass and kissing some, too," she laughed.

"Alright, you two," Dr. Chakwas said, interrupting Kaidan's laughter while chuckling at Shepard's remark. "After I'm done fixing you up, you need to get some food in both of you and take it easy for the rest of the day."

"Yes, ma'am," Kaidan replied.

"I think I can handle that," Shepard said, acting like it was no big deal.

Dr. Chakwas looked at the two biotics with an incredulous gaze as she set about doing her job. From the way they stood, sat, and gestured, she could tell that they were physically exhausted due to the use of their biotics. And from what she knew about them, she was surprised that neither of them had passed out due to overuse of their abilities. They both must have been holding back, which wasn't a bad thing; especially sense a lot of people look at biotics with fear and/or suspicion. The experienced doctor could also sense something between them. She caught glimpses of things in their eyes when they teased back and forth, and from Kaidan she thought there was something more than just friendly alarm when Shepard had mentioned nearly being discharged under the possibility of insanity or at least under the possibility of having some sort of post traumatic stress disorder.

_There might be more to this. Hopefully it won't come back to bite them later on if it does grow into something,_ the observant doctor thought warmly to herself. _It always fun to watch two soldiers grow found of one another and ultimately come together in something greater than friendship._

"Oh, and Commander," Dr. Chakwas decided to add, if only to embarrass the young soldier.

"Yes?"

"You're lucky that I'm going to help you at all with the way you sent Jenkins here. He's lucky that blow of yours didn't dislocate his jaw."

There was a hesitation before Dr. Chakwas got a response from Shepard. "I'll apologize to him the next time I see him."

"Glad to hear it. A good show of humility from you would do a world of good for him."

Shepard grumbled something over to Kaidan and his response was to shake his head and smile.

_What's that phrase everyone uses now a days?"_ Dr. Chakwas asked herself. _I call it? If so, then I do indeed call what comes next for these two._

* * *

><p>Shepard wandered around the <em>Normandy<em> aimlessly, looking for something to do. She and Kaidan had done as Dr. Chakwas had instructed and eaten after they were patched up and were now taking it easy in their own different ways. Kaidan had decided to catch some shut eye even though he already had spent most of the day asleep. And Shepard...Shepard had no clue what to do. She could tinker around with something and avoid using her ankle at all like she was instructed, or she could do some exploring of the _Normandy_ since most of the crew was still down in the cargo bay and wouldn't bother her.

Stairs proved to be her greatest enemy as she made her way to the CIC to _explore_. It was hard enough not to limp along, but stairs...stairs, they could all just die for all she cared. They made getting up without limping impossible, and Shepard was just glad no one was around.

The CIC was much more spacious when no one was there. You could actually move around without bumping into anyone. It was all so silent, too. There wasn't any chatter. No one was trying to talk over the noise of the chatter. Only the open terminals made noises every now and then when they finished one of their programmed tasks or something of that nature. Shepard continued on, the galaxy map flaring up as she passed, its two-dimensional overview of the galaxy bringing more light to the area as the virtual layout of the stars sparkled with artificial likeness of the real stars.

Past the airlock, Shepard found herself on the bridge, but she wasn't alone. So, she decided to investigate, walking forward until she was directly behind him.

"Why am I not surprised to find you back up here, Joker?" she said, leaning against the back of his chair.

"Oh, Commander," Joker jumped. "I didn't hear you."

"I do that sometimes," Shepard replied, coming around the side of his chair. "Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all! You can sit in the seat next to me."

"Isn't that usually where a copilot sits?"

"Well, yes," Joker answered as Shepard glided into the chair smoothly, "but I'm so skilled at flying we don't really need one."

"Of course," Shepard agreed, chuckling.

"So what can I do for you, Commander?"

"Nothing really. I was just stretching my legs a little even though I was ordered not to by Dr. Chakwas," she replied, adjusting herself so that she was leaning against the arm of the chair, making it easier on her when it came to looking at Joker as she talked with him. "Why are you back up in the cockpit and not down in the cargo bay?"

"I'm hiding." Joker caught the raised eyebrow from Shepard in his peripheral vision. He was finding it hard to look at her as she sat there so relaxed, so...beautiful. "No really. I'm serious."

"Okay...is there a reason behind your hiding?"

"Well, yeah. I'm not just doing it for my health or anything." Shepard shook her head. There really wasn't going to be a way out of this. "Fine I'll tell you. You know how the crew was making bets on who would win in your match against Kaidan?"

"My attention was elsewhere at that time, but yes, I figured as much."

"Let's just say that a lot of the crew ended up owing me some money."

"I didn't take you for a gambler, Joker," Shepard teased.

"Yeah, yeah, I don't look like a lot of things, Commander," Joker sighed, still remaining in his lighthearted tone. "But anyways, most of the bets didn't get made until after the match was in the fifth round and before the rounds were completely forgotten; and I just so happened to bet on the right person. A lot of people were betting against you, by the way," he added, turning away from the controls and looking at her with one of his goofy smiles. "No offense, but you certainly let Kaidan get some good blows and biotic moves in on you in the first round."

"I didn't want to hurt him," Shepard said kind of quietly.

"Hmm...yeah, I see where you're coming from. He's a good man and a good soldier. If I had as much power and skill in battle as you, I wouldn't want to hurt him either."

"Do you know the Lieutenant very well?"

"I flew the cruiser he was on when Admiral Hackett gave him a mission of a...personal sort."

"Do you know what the mission's objective was?"

"It's, ah, it's really not my place to say, Commander. Maybe you should ask him sometime."

"Maybe...I guess we all of those personal missions..."

"Are you remembering one in particular, Commander?" Joker asked, trying to get a sense of how far he could go with Shepard when it came to these conversations.

Shepard hesitated for a moment. Personal questions weren't really her thing but...maybe she should learn to trust some people. Joker and Kaidan, they were good guys. Perhaps she could open up to them like she should have done with Rebecca. "Yeah..." she finally said. "I am. It was a mission that started out as hunting down some missing Alliance soldiers, but later ended up being a hunt for slavers that could also be tied to the ones that attacked Mindoir."

"Shit..." Joker exhaled.

"You're telling me," Shepard sighed. "The Alliance soldiers had all been to the same colony at one time, whether it was visiting, moving there, or growing up on it. It took us a while to find that connection to begin with, but when we did, it was just...horrible. Everyone that had been to that colony had been slowing disappearing, even the inhabitants until none of them were left."

"And nobody noticed?" Joker asked, outraged.

Shepard snorted. "It was just one colony that wasn't well known and didn't cost much to set up. It wasn't important to the rest of the galaxy, so it was forgotten."

"I hate people sometimes," Joker replied, cynically. "Is there more to that mission?"

"Yeah, we tracked the disappearances—it took a few months and a lot of digging—to a group of batarian slavers," Shepard continued. "Turns out one of their ships carrying smuggled eezo crashed near the colony...and biotic slaves get fetch a higher price than normal ones."

"Damn them! How can...how can anyone do that and sleep at night!"

"I don't know," Shepard answered, shaking her head. "I know that I didn't sleep very well after I made it onto the ship and dispatched the slavers. Not only did they kill the soldiers and adults that fought back, but they tortured the others, even the children, and exposed them to extreme amounts of element zero that...caused damage only death could fix. It was...terrible. Finding out that the batarians responsible for this were a small branch in the same _organization _of slavers that attacked Mindoir once I hacked into their systems didn't help either."

"Did you find them? The slavers that were responsible for the attack on Mindoir."

"No," Shepard answered regretfully. "Hackett pulled me from it and sent me on another mission before I became fixated and went on a killing spree."

"There is nothing wrong with that kind of killing spree, Commander."

"Amen to that."

"Society really sucks sometimes," Joker said, trying not to lose the conversation and have it become an awkward silence.

"That's why I prefer avoiding it as much as I can."

"So, what's this then?" Joker asked, smiling at her."

Shepard adjusted her position a little, trying to get comfy. "This is me completely acting out of character," she smirked.

"Hmm...maybe you should act out of character more," Joker teased. "I kind of like it."

"Are you flirting with me, Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau?"

"I-I, uh...well you see, I...I didn't really meant to—"

Shepard's laughter interrupted Joker and made him shut up before he said something stupid as he fumbled about for an answer that satisfied her and also saved his ass. "It's alright, Joker. I was just messing with you."

"Yeah, I knew that!" Joker blurted out cheerfully.

"I'm sure you did."

As much as Joker hated it, silence drifted between them as Shepard stared out the window, watching people move about on the docks. He wondered if she was thinking about the shore leave that got yanked out right from underneath her. He was hoping, however, that she was thinking about him and how she was actually carrying on and uncharacteristically friendly conversation with him.

"Commander...Shepard," Joker tried using her name to get her attention, and it worked. Her ice blue eyes looked warmly as she turned her head to see him straight on. Her features were relaxed and her golden hair draped around her loosely, chaotically, and beautifully. Golden bangs may have drifted in front of her face in some spots, but all in all, she looked perfect to Joker. "You said that you were acting out of character. Why are you?" he asked. "I don't mean what things you're doing to be out of character. I mean, why are you doing them?"

"What's the reason?" she paraphrased. Joker nodded. "I guess because..." Shepard relaxed even more, slouching in the chair and looking up at the control panels above her head. She was never one to lie unless it was necessary and helped people other than herself, "because I like you. And I don't mean in the 'high school crush' sense. It's more in the 'you seem like a good guy and I strangely find it easy to talk to you' sense."

"That's quite the compliment coming from you, isn't it?" Joker teased, turning severity into fun.

"Don't push it, Mr. Moreau," Shepard threatened with feign sincerity coupled with playfulness.

"Alright, alright." Joker held up his hands in defense, getting a few soft laughs from Shepard. "Is there anyone else you consider as 'someone easy to talk to?'"

"Kaidan, maybe." Shepard thought she heard Joker scoff at that, but she decided it was just her imagination. "He's a bit more quiet and just listens, though. Not as fun as you since you've got the better jokes."

"It's like I told you," Joker...joked. "I love making people laugh."

"Uh-huh," Shepard hummed, turning out to the window again.

Joker let her sit in silence for a moment, running through the controls in front of him and checking the vid feed for anything. Another fight was going on in the cargo bay. It wasn't as good as the _Alenko vs. Shepard_ match, but the crew found it better than doing their jobs as they waited for maintenance to give them the all clear to leave.

When Joker looked back over at Shepard, he saw that her eyes were half closed and unfocused. "After going up against Kaidan like that," he said, his voice dropping in volume a little, "I'm surprised that you aren't in the crew's quarters sleeping."

"I have difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep."

"Really?"

"Yep," she answered, sounding distant. "I'm lucky enough to be diagnosed with insomnia and parasomnia."

"I didn't think you could have both of those," Joker said, sympathizing with her.

"Neither did the doctors that figured out that's what I've got."

"Your parasomnia, what do you...?"

"Night terrors," she replied, filling out his question on her own. "And with the things I've experienced, my subconscious doesn't even need to come up with anything. All it has to do is simply look at my past and pull things from there to fuel my night terrors."

"Ouch..."

"Understatement."

"Do you or the doctors know how you have those two 'somnias?" Joker asked, really pushing the limits of Shepard's _desire_ to talk about personal things.

"Yes, but..." Shepard didn't like where this was going. The information he was asking for was one she rarely gave. She could tell him off, tell him that he has no business asking that but...no. Working with this crew, she realized that she needed to change. Now that she was no longer working on her own, for the most part, she needed to drop the silent and guarded routine and reclaim her old self, her past personality, the way she was before Mindoir. "Tell me why you're in a wheelchair, and I'll answer your question."

"An answer for an answer, huh?" Joker sighed. "I guess that's fair. I have Vrolik's syndrome."

"Brittle bone disease?"

"Yeah," he said casually, albeit annoyed. He always got annoyed when talking about the disease he had. It always felt as if people pitied him. Not with Shepard though. She seemed more...understanding. Old habits die hard though, and he still ended up sounding agitated. He even turned away from Shepard because of how irritated he was. "The bones in my legs never fully developed. Too much force and they'll shatter. So, I need a wheelchair because if I take one wrong step then CRACK! It's very dramatic." Joker looked back over at Shepard. There wasn't a warm smile on his face anymore, and she felt bad for bringing this up. "But I've learned to manage my condition. It won't affect my ability to fly the _Normandy_."

"I wouldn't think that it would, Jeff," Shepard said softly, and that's all she said. They had both brushed up on touchy subjects. She wasn't about to say any more on Joker's condition and risk the chance of making him more upset than what he already sounded like he was while talking about his medical problems.

"So," Joker added, "you think you can top that with the reason you have insomnia _and_ parasomnia?"

"I don't know," Shepard answered absent mindedly, her heart beating erratically and floating up higher in her chest with nervousness. She had never told anyone this in person. She didn't know what type of reaction to expect. "I'm not trying to outdo you. The reason I've got those two sleeping problems is because of my biotic implant."

Joker whirled in his chair to look at Shepard, his mind jumping ahead of her words and his jaw visibly dropping.

"I'm and L2"


	4. Eden Prime

**Eden Prime**

"The Acrturus Prim relay is in range. Initiating transmission sequence."

The _Normandy _was in a state of ordered chaos. Everyone knew what they were doing and were getting it done, but because all of them were doing it at once, people were running into one another, it was loud, and there sometimes wasn't enough space to move around in. It was chaos, but ordered chaos. Most of them didn't mind it and all of them were just glad that they had finally left the dock without something else going wrong.

"We are connected. Calculating transit mass and destination."

Shepard walked through the battlefield of people trying to get things done, maneuvering around people who were discussing things, stepping out of the way when people quickly backtracked after they had finished what they were doing, and putting up a hand to guide people away from her just in case they didn't see her in time and were about to bump into her. It was loud and crowded and she hated it. All the noise, the through traffic, and the bustle were one of the things that made her enjoy working alone on missions. Everyone was jittery because they were finally starting a mission, and their jitteriness led to less attention on what was going on around them. And all this _stuff_ made a quick trip to the bridge turn into a fight to get through the crowds.

"The relay is hot. Acquiring approach vector."

Two more people nearly ran Shepard down as they transferred data pads and words before quickly turning on their heels and coming back the way they came. It was frustrating. It was a simple mission that couldn't even be classified as a mission, yet everyone was treating it as though it were a life or death situation.

"All stations secure for transit."

So far, Shepard hadn't found anywhere that was safe from the chaos. Heading for the bridge where she knew Joker was, was a last ditch effort to get away from all the people. Sometimes she really hated people. Today was one of those days. In addition to everyone doing everything, she had bumped into Jenkins. He was a little sore about how things in their match had gone down, but still was as enthusiastic as ever, still as annoying as ever. Not even a serious, stone faced Commander like herself could get him to calm down as she gave him an apology. Shepard could not wait for the day when he finally stopped viewing her with awe and praising her every step.

"The board is green. Approach run has begun."

_Finally!_ Shepard inwardly sighed as she made it past the airlock. There was just one more person she needed to pass in order to be in the safety of the bridge.

Skirting out of the way of the last crew member, Shepard eased up on the tension a little as she stood next to Nihlus. The Spectre was watching Joker flying the _Normandy_ very intently as if his life depended on it.

"Hitting the relay in...3...2...1..."

Blue light streamed everywhere as they used the mass relay. It was incredible to watch all the stars flay by you with unrealistic speed. It was also quite the trick on your mind as you felt almost none of the energy or effects of moving so fast but could visibly see everything around you shoot by.

"Thrusters...check. Navigation...check. Internal emission sink engaged. All systems online. Drift...just under 1500K," Joker said, sounding pleased with himself.

"1500K is good. Your Captain will be pleased." Nihlus was still as monotonously toned as ever.

Having apparently said all that needed to be said, the turian Spectre cast a short glance at Shepard before he passed by and headed for the busy CIC.

"I hate that guy," Joker added blankly once Nihlus was out of earshot.

"Nihlus gave you a compliment...so you hate him?" Kaidan asked incredulously. He was sitting next to Joker. Shepard didn't even realize that the Lieutenant was up here.

"You remember to zip up you jump suit after going to the bathroom? That's good. I just jumped us halfway across the galaxy and hit a target the size of a pinhead. So that's incredible. Besides...Spectres are trouble. I don't like having him on board. Call me paranoid," Joker answered, his familiar humor cropping up in his words.

"You're paranoid. The Council helped fund this project. They have a right to send someone to keep an eye on their investment."

"That is the _official_ story. But only an idiot believes the official story," Joker retorted.

"I was always skeptical about the reason Nihlus was here," Shepard added, joining the conversation between Joker and Kaidan. "This shakedown run just continuously adds to that skepticism. You don't send Spectres on shakedown runs unless there is a damn good reason."

"Yeah, a damn good reason we haven't been told, I might add," Joker complained.

"Oh and Joker," Shepard added, moving forward so that she could lean on the back of his chair and drop her head down to look at him. "If you always brag about what an amazing helmsman you are, no one will ever compliment you," she teased. A small smirk played at her lips as the pilot looked up into her icy eyes. "You've already said it, multiple times; and no one wants to compliment someone who's always trying to show off. But good job at not getting us blown out of the sky yet."

"What do you mean, 'yet?'" Joker asked with feigned hurt.

"Joker, status report!"

"Just cleared the mass relay, Captain. Stealth systems engaged. Everything looks solid," Joker said, snapping back into a formal and serious tone.

"Good. Find a comm. buoy and link us up to the network. I want mission reports relayed back to Alliance brass before we reach Eden Prime."

"Aye, aye, Captain. Better brace yourself, sir. I think Nihlus is heading your way."

"He's already here, Lieutenant."

Joker hung his head and winced at his mistake. Kaidan looked over at Joker and shook his head in a scolding manner at his moment of stupidity. Shepard just took note of the harsh tone that Captain Anderson had just taken up.

"Tell Commander Shepard to meet me in the comm. room for a debriefing."

"You get that, Commander?" Joker asked, switching to formality and keeping it that way so he wouldn't slip up again.

"Yeah...thanks for pissing him off right before I have to go talk with him. Now I have to deal with that," Shepard sighed.

"Well, sorry..." he groaned, dragging out the apologetic word. "Then again, that's what he always sounds like when talking to me."

"I can't possibly imagine why," Kaidan added sarcastically.

Shepard drew herself from Joker's chair and stepped back. "Something's about to happen. Get ready."

"What are you talking about?"

"That 'random shit's about to happen radar' you accused me of having is going off, Joker," she said turning to the CIC. "Just you watch. Something bad is about to happen, and we're going to be thrown right into the middle of it."

"God, I hope you're wrong," Joker sighed.

"As do I," Shepard added before she began walking to the CIC, and ultimately, the comm. room.

Joker turned around to make sure she was gone before he looked over at Kaidan.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing," Joker said, dismissing everything by making it look as if he was hard at work.

"Riiiigghht."

The deep throated chuckling Kaidan heard from Joker was taunting him.

* * *

><p>"<em>Transmission from Eden Prime, sir. You need to see this!"<em>

_Gunfire. Screams. Dirt flying everywhere when whatever was firing back missed. "We are under attack! Taking heavy casualties! I repeat: heavy casualties! We can't...arrgh!..—eed evac! They came out of nowhere! We need—"_

_Shocked expression were on the faces of everyone who was still alive as the camera panned over to show what looked like a giant, glowing claw sparking with red strands of energy reaching for the planet as if it were going to rip it to shreds._

"_Take us in Joker, fast and quiet. This mission just got a lot more complicated."_

"_Tell Alenko and Jenkins to suit up, Commander. You're going in."_

"_Your team's the muscle in this operation, Commander. Go in heavy and head straight for the dig site."_

"_What about survivors, Captain?"_

"_Helping survivors is a secondary objective. The beacon's your top priority."_

"_Nihlus will scout ahead. He'll feed you status reports throughout the mission; otherwise, I want radio silence."_

We've got his back, Captain.

"Ship perimeter secure, Commander!" Kaidan called over.

"Alright," Shepard said, looking over at her squad. "I want weapons out at all times. Who knows what we'll find."

"Aye, aye, Commander," both Alenko and Jenkins answered in near unison.

Kaidan drew his pistol. It was one of the newer models, fresh out of the box even, but there was no power to it and no familiarity. He had on the normal onyx armor the Alliance supplied all their soldiers with. His was the lightest version of the armor, most likely for his biotics. Before they had reached drop point two, Kaidan did have a helmet on, but as soon as they had left the _Normandy_, the helmet was off. That was to be expected by soldiers with a bit of experience behind them. The helmets may offer you protection, but they also limited movement and you lost your peripheral vision. So, in most cases, the helmets stayed off.

_He must really rely on biotics most of the time if he thinks a chintzy little toy like that is an actual gun, _Shepard thought when she saw his choice in weaponry. _I wonder if my old pistol made it onboard. Perhaps in my locker? I rarely use it; maybe I'll let him have it._

Jenkins had a Lancer 1 assault rifle. It was good for dishing out tons of bullets, but the drawback was that you couldn't aim for shit with the damn thing. It was mostly used for cover fire and drawing attention to your position. He also wore the onyx armor, but for some reason his looked a little blue. Jenkins also wore his helmet, showing just how much of a greenhorn he really was.

Shepard reached behind her back and grabbed her sniper rifle. The year, manufacturer, and model couldn't even be determined anymore it was so heavily modified. There were pieces of different models replacing the original parts. The thing had been completely revamped and was now maxed out in its accuracy rating, capacity, rate of fire, and it was still as light as a "feather" with very little recoil in trained hands. Her armor was completely customized, too. It looked like light armor, the chest piece fitting snugly over her figured form. It almost looked like it was black leather if it weren't for the fact that it was shiny and not as flexible. Instead of the tight, uncomfortable greaves that all soldiers usually wore, Shepard had thick fibered pants that flared out to cover her boots. On her right arm, she wore thick gauntlets and a small shoulder guard. The N7 stripe ran proudly down it. On her left, she wore the same light, leather looking material as the chest piece and wasn't as thick as the armor on her right arm. Her kamikaze golden hair was pulled up out of the way into a long and loose ponytail. The bangs still dropped in front of her face, though. Nothing short of using a full bottle of gel could keep them back. She was also wearing a visor that covered her left eye, covered her ear, and had a small microphone that followed her jaw line a bit.

Shepard's armor was a little mismatched in theory, but it looked effective and badass. _And it makes her look beautiful...in a dangerous way,_ Kaidan thought before he quickly snatched his eyes away from her so he could stay focused on the mission.

"You really have that thing tricked out, Commander," Jenkins mentioned once he saw her weapon of choice. "What's all painted on it with white?"

Looking down at the gun she had propped in the crook of her elbow, Shepard ran a gloved hand over the white decals, tracing the "patterns" she had painted on there. The white stood out really well against the dark blue coloration of the rifle. "They're names," she said. "50 names to remember." Her fingertips outlined a few of the names, dropping into the small ravines of the engravings where she had carved them into the gun before she painted them.

"Whoa!" Kaidan exclaimed with disbelief like a child looking at a spaceship for the first time. "What the hell are those!"

Jenkins' attention was immediately fixed onto whatever Kaidan was looking at. The young corporal laughed. "Gas Bags. Don't worry, they're harmless."

"Harmless, you say..." Shepard hummed, sliding the barrel of her gun down so that she could easily hold it with both hands as she zeroed in on one of them, lining it up for a perfect shot in the scope of her sniper rifle. She gave Kaidan silent thanks for shifting things away from her. It was an invaluable talent that he was starting to show he had, and hopefully he wouldn't mind using it often.

_What am I fucking five?_ she scolded herself before she started to apply pressure on the trigger. _Yep!_ She pulled trigger and a single shot rang out through the air.

The thing, Gas Bag, whatever, exploded. It looked like confetti floating through the air when it did, appealing to the five-year-old in Shepard.

"Damn!" Kaidan cried out with the same childlike tone as before.

"Poor Gas Bag..." Jenkins added with mock sorrow.

A smirk of amusement touched Shepard's lips as she thought of what Rebecca would have thought. _No doubt she would have fired at the other three hovering nearby in addition to the one I shot. I wonder if I'll see her again now that I'm under consideration of becoming a—_

"Shepard," a voice blared in her earpiece drawing her away from her thoughts. "I'm in position and ready to make the push to the dig site."

It was Nihlus. Shepard motioned for Kaidan and Jenkins to can it before responding. "Understood. We are en route now." She heard the click and slight static as Nihlus cut off the channel. Looking at Kaidan and Jenkins, she nodded her head in the direction they needed to go. "Let's move."

It didn't take long for them to encounter casualties.

"Oh...God! What happened here?" Jenkins voice wavered.

There were bodies on either side of the trial that cut a path through the steep hills for them, marking its entrance and making it a little hard to miss. The bodies were human, that much was clear. But otherwise, they were charred way beyond any recognition. Jenkins froze and stared in horror at them.

"Keep moving, Corporal. Don't let this be in vain," she hissed. _Damn it! Who the hell fires on civilians that are clearly out of the way?_

They were coming around the first corner when Shepard got the nagging feeling that something wasn't right. She signaled for Jenkins and Kaidan to stop and scanned the area. There was nothing there, and that was the thing. They were on the lower ground and there wasn't a whole lot of cover. It was the perfect place for an ambush. The question was, what would be doing the ambushing?

Glancing over her shoulder at Jenkins, she motioned for him to follow closely to her. She moved forward more until she was behind one of the few spots with cover, dropping into a crouch, then she signaled for Jenkins to move up on her right.

The Corporal darted forward, half crouching, half sprinting as he moved up.

That's when Shepard heard it. It was the whirring sound you heard from the thrusters on security drones, but she was too late at making connections. Jenkins was too far away from any cover.

"Get down!" Shepard called out to him in vain.

Jenkins didn't look back at his Commander. The drones, three of them, had appeared from behind the trees ahead of them. The young soldier leveled his rifle at them, taking aim, but the drones were quicker. Their shots were fired first.

Shepard retreated behind her cover, banging her head against the cold rock as she heard Jenkins cry out. Then there was silence. She stole a quick glance, trying to stay out of sight of the drones.

He was lying in an awkward position. Blood was staining the ground. There was no movement, no rise and fall of his chest.

_NO!_ "No..." she whispered quietly, ducking back down. Kaidan was right next to her, tense with anticipation, and grief. He barely heard her whisper.

* * *

><p>Shrapnel was scattered about. Shepard had completely obliterated the drones with a combination of hacking and biotics. They didn't have to use their weapons.<p>

Now she was kneeling before Jenkins, her face removed of any emotion, but her eyes radiated sorrow. A gloved hand reached out slowly as she closed his eyes. She bowed her head and closed her owm, sealing off the sorrow, honoring his sacrifice...if it could even be called that. It was more like bad luck, but Shepard, Alice, didn't take it like that.

Kaidan was standing behind her, watching her reaction to all this. She had expressed once to him that she didn't really like Jenkins, but even she could put aside petty things to honor the fallen. "Ripped right through his shields," he noted quietly. "He never stood a chance." The gruffness of his voice was deeper as he whispered to her. Coupled with grief, it almost sounded choked out.

A nod was all he got in response for a moment. Her eyes remained closed. Her head remained bowed. She remind silent for a moment, the urgency of the mission still on her mind, but it was pushed back just long enough for her to do what was right. "We'll come back for him, Lieutenant," she finally said firmly, looking up at Kaidan from over her shoulder. "He'll get a proper burial, I promise...Is your head still here?"

"Yes, ma'am," he answered without hesitation as Shepard rose and turned to face him. "I've got your back." _I'll always have your back._

"Alright..." Shepard swapped out her sniper rifle for her shotgun. She wanted payback and big explosions. "We need to keep moving. Now."

Kaidan nodded and followed her as they pushed forward towards the billowing smoke.

As the two Alliance soldiers made their way to the dig site, it was silent...mostly. The occasional labored breaths from either Kaidan or Shepard would break the silence...along with the boom of a shotgun and the explosion of the drone that was hit with the blast or biotics. No one spoke. Only once did Nihlus speak through the radio, and that was only to update them on how close he was to their destination. He was moving quicker than they were, so Shepard was forced take on a faster pace with the risk that they would waste all their energy on getting there and not have enough for fighting whatever was attacking the colony.

Four shots were fired rapidly a short ways ahead of them. Shepard signaled for them to stop just as two more shots were fired followed by two crashes and explosions. That meant that someone had just taken out two drones. It also meant that someone had survived the onslaught of the unknown enemy. It meant that there was someone else alive and that there was a chance there was another human besides them.

Shepard ran forward with Kaidan on her heels. The shotgun she had been using was quickly swapped out for her sniper rifle as she came over the rise of the hill in front of them.

A soldier in white and pink armor was hiding behind a boulder in the center of a clearing. There were two fully automated machines standing further away, scanning for the soldier.

Shepard stopped on the crest of the small hill, took aim, and fired a single shot at one of the machines. Its head was blown off and the thing collapsed to the ground, becoming nothing more than a heap of metal and wires. That drew the attention of the other machine off of the soldier in white and pink and put it on her. The assault rifle it carried was aimed at her, but before it get any shots off, it was suddenly and violently lifted up into the air by Kaidan, who was now standing beside Shepard. Focusing through the scope of her rifle, she tried to get a clean kill on the machine just like the other one, but it was spinning and moving due to the biotics too much, so she fired two rounds, both ripping through the "chest." The sound of electronics screaming exploded from the machine before it too crashed to the ground, dead like the other.

"Go and make sure she's alright," Shepard ordered, nodding towards the soldier still huddled behind the boulder.

"Yes, ma'am." _She's really not a people person,_ Kaidan thought as he headed toward the woman in hideous white and pink armor.

"Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams of the 212," she said breathlessly once Kaidan was standing beside her. "Are you the one in charge, sir?"

"No," Kaidan answered, shaking his head. "I'm Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko. That's Commander Alice Shepard. She's the one in charge. Are you hurt, Williams?

"Just some scrapes and burns. Nothing serious."

"You sure."

"Yes I'm sure."

Shepard was crouched down in front of the machine that still had a head. Her omni-tool glowed vibrantly as she ran scans on the corpse, scans that had already told her that it was a geth. She was looking for any weaknesses. It could be in its armor or its programming. It didn't really matter. She just needed an edge on this thing. _Damn! It's memory core is wiped. That could have been extremely useful, _she sighed. Luckily, the machine still had some running functions on it, so it wasn't completely worthless and became something of a guinea pig. She began running some simple hacking programs on it, similar to the ones she used for the drones. The geth shimmered with orange ripples, signifying her hacking had worked; but Shepard knew that the hacking would only work for short amounts of times on the live ones because of their network and their anti-hack runtimes that were integrated into their very systems. Still, she knew more about what she was facing than she did a couple of seconds ago.

"Is the great hero too important to talk to me or something?" Ashley bristled as she looked at Shepard. Ashley knew who the big shot was. Anyone with a fancy title and a story everyone knew was immediately on the brash soldier's _be suspicious of_ list. The fact that Shepard hadn't said anything to her and that she had sent her Lieutenant to talk to her added to that deep seated mistrust.

The question had been hissed and directed towards Kaidan, and he was about to jump to his Commander's defense, but Shepard beat him to it.

"I didn't think there were any heroes on this planet, Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams," she said bitterly. "And I am trying to find weaknesses in the geth so that I can keep the two of you alive and anyone else we might come across."

"It doesn't exactly look like—"

"Hold on a sec," Kaidan interrupted, shaking his head in disbelief. "Did you just say these things are geth?"

"Yes," Shepard answered.

"That doesn't make any sense though," Kaidan continued. "The geth haven't been seen outside the Veil in nearly 200 years. Why are they here now?"

"I don't know," Ashley answered, dismissing the squabble she almost had with Shepard. "I do know these damn synthetics ambushed my unit and I when we tried to double back to the beacon." She looked down at her feet, "I don't think any of the others...I think I'm the only one left."

"There's nothing you could have done, Chief. You were lucky to get out with your life," Shepard said, sympathizing with her. She knew what it was like to lose an entire unit.

"Yes, ma'am."

Shepard knew that Ashley didn't believe her as well. Hell, she wouldn't have believed herself either. She still doesn't. "They're probably here for the same reason we are, Lieutenant," Shepard added, turning her head slightly towards him.

"The beacon," he supplied.

"Exactly."

"That stupid thing's more trouble than it's worth!" Ashley growled.

"How far is it from here?" Shepard asked.

"Not far. The dig site is just over that rise," she answered. "It might still be there."

Shepard nodded, her eyes gazing in the direction of the rise Ashley had mentioned before they rested back on the soldier. "We could use your help, Williams."

"Aye, aye, ma'am. It's time for some payback."

A brief nod was exchanged between the two, along with some understanding. More so on Shepard's part than Ashley's, who was still clueless about the Commander.

"Move out!"

Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams nodded before grabbing her assault rifle.

The squad was now at full strength. They had three people, and someone who was a little more seasoned than Jenkins, at that. Shepard could feel the resentment radiating off of Williams. The other soldier didn't like her. Perhaps it was because of her detailed past. Or maybe it was because of how quiet Shepard was. _Hell, she might not like simply because everyone, even civies, know my story and that's more than what most soldiers can say._ Sometimes other Alliance soldiers didn't like Shepard because she was well known and her horror story was publicized while most of the important ones and worse ones were not. The world was funny like that. The media was funny/stupid like that.

Once over the rise, they could see the stone walls that marked to dig site along with some tools the scientists used. They could also see something terrible.

Two metal spikes, obviously geth technology, were on their left. A couple of civilians were impaled on them. Red blood dripped down the metal. The bodies were all the way at the top, and somehow weren't sliding down further. It was a curious and disturbing sight.

"Impaling their victims while they're still alive instead of just shooting them," Ashley said in disgust. "There must be a reason."

"How do you know they were alive?" Shepard asked.

"I watched them."

"It's classical psychological warfare," Kaidan pointed out. "They're using terror as a weapon."

"Yeah, well, it's pretty effective—"

Ashley was cut off by rounds striking the ground and rocks around them.

"Take cover!" Shepard cried, throwing a couple of the geth back to keep them from firing at Ashley and Kaidan. A few rounds hit her kinetic barriers before she finally grabbed some cover. _These synthetics are ruthless,_ she thought before she took aim and fired at her targets.

* * *

><p>"This is the dig site. The beacon was right here!" Ashley yelled in frustration. She was tired of being beaten. First the geth wiped out her entire unit. And now they had taken the one thing that was the reason they were here: the beacon.<p>

"Well, it's not now," Kaidan said, sounding annoyed and pointing out the obvious. "It must have been moved."

"Gah, I am so sick of these damn machines winning!" Ashley cried.

Shepard could sense that there was more to her anger than simple frustration and exhaustion. This was about her unit. "We don't know if the geth moved it. It could have been our side." Shepard sounded level headed and calm. Like none of this was getting to her.

"Alright that's it!" Ashley exclaimed as she went at the Commander. She grabbed a hold of Shepard and shoved her up against one of the stone walls of the dig site. "I can only handle that 'cold indifference' shit for so long. How the hell can you be so calm and calculating when everyone is dead?"

"Because I don't focus on the dead," Shepard hissed in a dangerously low voice. "Alenko and I found you alive, which is more than I expected, especially since we already lost someone on our squad. So, I'm not looking for corpses. I'm looking for people that survived." Her eyes gleamed with cold determination and malice. "Now I suggest you let go of me."

Ashley did so without any hesitation. She didn't know what had come over her. She was just...angry, hurt, and sad. Everything was going to hell and it seemed as if Shepard didn't care. That's what really drove her mad. She couldn't stand it when people didn't notice all the suffering and death that was going on around them, and Shepard's personality was a quiet one which made it seem as if she was one of the people that didn't pay attention. Ashley didn't know this, didn't know Shepard, and thought that she was just a bitch. Like Kaidan, she didn't know what to expect from Commander Alice Shepard and gauged her wrong at first.

"Is there a chance that someone made out of here alive," Shepard finally asked Ashley, her voice carrying at least some emotion to appeal to the stressed soldier.

"Maybe. Some of the science team might have made it back to the camp," she answered. She sounded tired now. "It's just up that hill."

"It looks more like a mini mountain," Shepard hummed to herself. "Alright, let's move, and keep your eyes open for any civilians. If we can help them, we will."

Kaidan looked at Shepard in disbelief. She was going to disobey an order. "But, Commander, the Captain said—"

"The Captain's not here, Lieutenant," she snapped. "He doesn't know how bad it really is. So, if we can help, we will. No Prothean artifact is worth the lives of innocent people that can't defend themselves."

"Aye, aye, ma'am," Kaidan resigned. He agreed with her, don't get him wrong, but they had orders; and although it seemed like Shepard didn't give a rat's ass about them, he did so begrudgingly because he didn't want to be on the receiving end of punishment for disobeying them. She was willing to risk her own ass to save others. She had the courage to disobey. A trait he admired.

Suddenly the radio crackled and a voice shot through their earpieces. "Change of plans, Shepard," Nihlus said, his voice sounding as if he was far away. "There's a small spaceport ahead. I'll meet you there." Just as quickly the radio had come to life, it fell silent with static as its last breath.

"Who the hell was that?" Ashley asked once the short transmission was over.

"Nihlus, a Spectre that came on this mission with us," Shepard answered before she began to run towards the hill. She sounded extremely distant with her reply. _Great. We were late, he went on ahead, and now I look bad. Lovely way to make an impression on a Spectre who's evaluating you_. "Come on."

Ashley gave Kaidan a questioning look. "What just happened?" she asked silently.

Kaidan just shrugged. He had no answer and simply followed his commander, even though he felt as if something was off. Shepard had been tiptoeing her way through this mission, being the calm and collective soldier that didn't let anything get to her. She wasn't acting like herself, or the person who he slightly knew; the person who had sounded in pain when she told Jenkins not to let the civilians' deaths be in vain. She was acting like how everyone thought a commander should act. _She voiced her doubt on the reason behind things already. Maybe she's being forced to be something she's not because she found out the true intent of it all._

The top of the hill was mostly flat. Metal beams and platforms were scattered about. There were small fires that stayed to one area, one building that looked near collapse. More of those metal spikes people were impaled on were over on their left and it was eerily silent. Shadows were everywhere. They were places perfect for hiding and watching without being detected.

"This is a good place for an ambush," Kaidan hissed at Shepard and Ashley. "Keep you guard up."

Shepard stopped and motioned for Kaidan and Ashley to fan out. They were looking for survivors, the secondary objective that took priority for Shepard.

Ashley moved to the burning building. No one would be alive in there, but the least you could do was get the bodies out before they became just ash. Kaidan headed towards the two buildings that were intact. They were scarred with burn marks and bullet holes, and one of them was missing a window-you could see that no one was in there-but the building on the far right looked like it was the perfect place to hide. Not to mention, that from where Kaidan was standing, he could see that the security lock was activated on the console to open the doors.

"Oh my god!" Shepard gasped. Her voice was quiet and small, but both Ashley and Kaidan heard it through their personal comm. link.

Kaidan grabbed his pistol and whipped around, ready to jump to her aid. But there wasn't any geth. Instead, Shepard stood with a death grip on her sniper rifle and was gazing up at the top of the metal spikes. Still looking down the sights of his gun, Kaidan also looked up at the top of the spikes. His reaction to what he was seeing was similar to Shepard's, only quieter. He took a step back in disbelief and disgust.

"What did the geth do to them?" Ashley's voice was heightened by the despair they were all feeling as they looked at the figures on the spikes.

That's when the spikes lowered those things down.

They looked human. Two eyes, two legs, two arms, a mouth, nose, two ears. They had everything a human had. But their eyes glowed blue, their skin was a dark, ashen color, and it looked like tubes ran around their body with the same iridescent light that their eyes had. And they were still moving.

"Oh, god!" Kaidan cried in alarm. "They're still alive!"

As soon as the metal spikes had retracted fully, the things on the end detached themselves and stood, electricity dancing between them, the spikes, and the ground. Some of them stumbled to the ground; others, remained upright. All of them only resembled human, but were obviously no longer living.

"These things are not alive," Shepard growled, switching her sniper rifle for her shotgun. "Do _not_ show them any mercy."

"They still look human..." Ashley whimpered.

"It's not human, it's a shell, a _husk,_ of what it was before," Shepard shot back.

She sighted down the barrel of her gun, aiming directly at one of the thing's head, and pulled the trigger.

* * *

><p>"Now we know what those spikes are for: turning our own dead against us," Kaidan said dryly as the last of the husks exploded in blue sparks.<p>

"It must take a few hours for them to turn into husks," Ashley commented with disgust. "I'm gonna make these bastards pay."

Shepard relaxed a bit, tipping her head back with exhaustion before standing rigid and ready again. "Agreed, Chief."

Kaidan could hear the weariness in her voice. It was hidden, but still there. He could also see the exhaustion in her stance as well, but she was still acting like everything was fine. She was still the same old ice queen. "Are you all right, Commander?"

"Huh?" Shepard quickly brushed her bangs over to one side of her face, like she was hiding something. "Yeah. One of them got a little too close for comfort. Nothing major, though."

Kaidan nodded, but didn't believe her. Shepard didn't blame him.

"That building over there," she said, diverting the conversation from its original path, "did you check it?"

"No," he answered, letting her drive the topic away from her. "We were attacked by those...things before I could."

"The security lock's engaged, by the look of it," Ashley added.

"You say that like it'll be a problem." Shepard smirked, a little, before it faded and she moved to the door. "Time to find out if this program will cause an explosion or not," she hummed to herself. The orange glow of the omni-tool blinked on and Shepard tapped a few keys. They door chimed and its control panel changed from red to green. _Finally something that goes according to plan,_ she sighed, slamming her hand against the panel. The door hissed open and they heard footsteps running further away towards the back of the building. Shepard clipped the shotgun to the back of her belt and walked in. Entering with a huge, battle scarred shotgun might make whoever was in here a little jumpy.

There were two people in the building; doctors, from the look of it; one male and one female. The woman shrank back when she saw Shepard's shadow in the doorway. The man was already cowering behind a bed. However, when a human entered the door and stood before them, their fear turned to relief and they stood a little taller.

"Humans!" the woman cried. "Thank the Maker!"

The man shambled forward, his back hunched; and he was favoring his right leg as if it had fallen asleep from the position he was in while hiding. "Hurry! Close the door! Before they come back!" he cried in a hushed voice.

"Don't worry," Shepard said, holding up a hand. "If they come back, we'll protect you."

"Thank you," the woman breathed, relief showing in her face.

Kaidan appeared in the doorway followed by Ashley. "Actually, I think you should be okay now," he added. "We took care of everything in the immediate area."

"You mean Shepard blasted everything into itty bitty pieces with her shotgun and biotics," Ashley commented with a bit of dry humor.

"I recognize you," the woman added. "You were one of the soldiers that were stationed here."

Ashley nodded. "Ashley Williams of the 212. You're Doctor Warren, right? The one who was in charge of excavation."

"Yes," Dr. Warren answered.

"Then do you know what happened to the beacon?" Shepard asked.

"It was moved to the spaceport this morning. Manuel and I stayed behind to help with cleanup." The doctor's voice picked up a sadder edge, "When the attack came, the marines moved us in here and told us to hide. They gave their lives to save us."

"No one is saved! The age of humanity is ended! Soon, only ruin and corpses will remain!" Manuel cried in the same hushed voice.

Shepard looked at him, but decided to ignore his remarks. "Can you tell us any more about the attack?"

"No, not really," she said regretfully. "It all happened so fast...We weren't really able to see anything."

"Did you guys hear or see a turian pass through here?"

"I saw him!" Manuel interrupted, his voice cracking a little bit. He was trying to be loud while whispering. His voice wasn't agreeing with him on the possibility of that. "The Prophet. Leader of the enemy. He was here, before the attack."

"That's impossible," Kaidan responded. "Nihlus was with us on the _Normandy_ before the attack. He couldn't have been here."

"I'm sorry," Dr. Warren said, fiddling with her hands nervously. "Manuel is still a bit...unsettled." Her eyes flickered away from Shepard for a moment before they came back. "We haven't seen your turian."

Ashley had been staring at Manuel the entire, now she finally spoke up. "Alright, I can't hold it in any longer: what's wrong with your assistant?"

"Manuel has a brilliant mind," she answered, looking at her with big eyes as she tried to make them understand. "But he's always been a bit...unstable. Genius and madness are two sides of the same coin."

Manuel looked first at Ashley, then at Dr. Warren before his gaze finally settled on Shepard. "Is it madness to see the future? To see destruction rushing towards us? To understand there is no escape? No hope?" he asked in a whimper, despair dripping off of his voice and filling the air. Dr. Warren shook her head in complete disregard. "No," he continued, the one word cracking and sounding as if he was crying. "I am not mad. I am the only sane one left!"

"Forget I said anything," Ashley replied dryly once Manuel's monologue was finished.

Shepard stared at Manuel for a moment. _Genius and madness are two sides of the same coin._ She found herself agreeing with that statement. _No time to dwell on it now._ "Williams," she snapped, "take us to the spaceport."

"Aye, aye, ma'am."

An iron grip stopped Shepard from following behind Kaidan and Ashley as the exited the building. "You can't stop it! No one can stop it!" Manuel hissed at her. "Night is falling. The darkness of eternity."

Shepard stared into Manuel's eyes. It seemed as if he was begging her not to continue.

"Hush, Manuel," Dr. Warren said, her hands gripping his shoulders as she guided him to the bed. "Go and lie down. You'll feel better when the meds kick in."

Whatever Manuel had been trying to tell her as he stared into her eyes was cut off. _What the hell was that all about?_

"We're actually really close, Commander," Ashley commented as soon as the door quietly closed behind Shepard. "Just past those trees," she continued waving her assault rifle towards the horizon, "and we're pretty much right there."

"Good. Alright people, keep it clean. We're almost there." The _Commander_ bit really carried over well when she wanted it to.

Ashley was completely worn out. She had been fighting the geth for hours now, and it seemed as if they were encountering more and more of them the closer they got to the beacon. Her face was splashed with dirt and ash and she looked as if she had just come out of a coal mine she was peppered with so much soot. A look of loss, both physically and emotionally hung around her. Her eyes were set with a firm, yet sad, light. Her mouth was twisted downwards just enough to hint at her ever growing fatigue and pain. The breaths that escaped her sometimes sounded as if she was forcing herself to exhale.

Shepard admired the strength in Ashley. She also knew that it would be the death of her if she continued on like this. "Williams," she said abruptly just as they had started for the spaceport again, "I need you to stay here."

"What? Why?" she exclaimed. Stopping dead in her tracks, she growled deep down in her throat. She was certainly as far away from getting payback as she ever was going to be. There was no way she just going to sit on her ass while this colony burned.

"I need someone to make sure that these people stay alive," she explained patiently. "If the geth or more of these husk things come, there's no way they'll survive on their own."

"They survived this long without a babysitter," Ashley fired back. "What's a few more minutes?"

Kaidan looked over at the two of them butting heads. He was a bit roughed up, but no worse than Ashley. He could understand Ashley's resentment at being told to play guard. After all, her whole unit had died and the cracks were starting to show and spread in her tough façade.

"A few minutes can be the difference between life and death," Shepard shot back. Her voice was still patient and calm as she spoke to Ashley. "You know this. That's why you're still alive. Now I need you to stay here. If we find others that survived, we'll send them back here."

"This is bullshit, Commander." Ashley spat.

"No, this is survival," Shepard snapped back.

There was resentment burning in Ashley's eyes as she looked at Shepard. The two soldiers were having a stare down, a silent argument.

The logic in Shepard's orders was undeniable. If one stayed back they could secure this area, make sure that no one came up on the rest of the squad from behind, and they could keep the civilians safe. But Kaidan could see the angle Shepard was playing at. Ashley was obviously torn up about the loss of her squad, add that to the emotional stress and physical fatigue, and you ended up with a suicidal mess of a soldier who didn't acknowledged the difference between grabbing cover and getting torn in half from the opposition's guns. Shepard was playing to Ashley's apparent need to save at least someone so that the guilt of losing "everyone" was outweighed. She was giving Ashley something to work with so that later, when this was all over, she wouldn't completely hate herself for what happened down here. It was the perfect plan. It left them one short of a full squad, but Shepard and Kaidan's biotics would more than make up with that. While nearly as tired as Ashley, they could still keep going right up to the moment where overexertion could possibly kill them.

_She's got a diplomatic side, too,_ Kaidan thought fondly. _Next thing I know, she'll sprout wings and start flying around._ The thought almost made him smile. Picturing Commander Shepard flying amongst the clouds with two giant, white wings sprouting from her back. Adrenaline and near death experiences made you do funny things. Smiling while standing next to whatever abominations the geth turned other humans into with the smell of burning flesh tainting the air was one such thing; as was picturing Shepard being part bird. He had to force himself to keep a straight face. A smile might push Ashley closer to the edge of the cliff that was mentally snapping because of the strain. The cliff she was already standing precariously close to.

"Alright, Commander," Ashley finally sighed, resigning from the previously loud to incredibly silent argument, "you win. But knock some geth on their synthetic asses for me, okay?"

"Will do," Shepard responded, a half smile touching her lips. "And here," she continued, reaching into one of her ammo cases attached at her belt. She handed Ashley something, Kaidan couldn't quite see what. "You might need these more than we currently do."

A wicked grin spread across Ashley's face, "You're kidding me," she laughed. "Grenades? These will make quite the boom. And it's not even my birthday."

"Something told me you were the 'must have big bang, or not worth it' type," Shepard said lightly.

"Close," Ashley replied. "Must have big bang with lots of dead bodies torn to shreds when the dust settles, or not worth it."

"I'll do my best to remember that," she said dismissively, turning to Kaidan. "Let's move, Lieutenant," she hummed.

"Right behind you, Commander."

They were too far away to hear a single, definitive gunshot.

* * *

><p>There was a very loud and powerful groaning of metal that sounded all around Kaidan and Shepard. Both of them looked up in time to so a large object with red smoke billowing out from the bottom as it rose higher and higher in the sky. There was red electricity dancing off of the outer shell. The shape of the object reminded Shepard of an upside-down trilobite with three, maybe four, legs coming off of the "head" of the trilobite and roughly six legs running along the sides of it; three per side.<p>

"What is that? Off in the distance," Kaidan exclaimed.

"It's a...it's a ship!" Shepard answered in shock and wonder. "Look at the size of it." Now she knew what that claw was in Eden Prime's last transmission.

Then, there was silence as the abnormally large ship became a large dot, and then a spec in the sky before it was completely gone; all in the blink of an eye.

"Do any fleets, alien or ours, have ships that size? Other than the geth, that is," Kaidan asked.

"Not that I know of."

"Then we're fucked if we end up going toe to toe with that thing," he replied, the awe was drifting from his voice and becoming bitter.

"That's putting our situation mildly." Shepard's statement was cold. Any normal soldier would be freaking the fuck out. Her N7 training kicked in, though, and she just shut it all down. "We need to keep moving, Lieutenant."

"Right, Commander. I was just—"

"OH GOD! THEY'RE BREAKING THROUGH!" a voice screamed.

They both just reacted, training replacing thought and decisions, training just taking over all of their internal systems. Shepard ripped her sniper rifle off of her back, Kaidan unholstered his pistol, and both of them rushed towards the direction the scream had come from.

A shed surrounded by broken crates, some of them actually lit on fire, was off to their right. That's where the scream had come from. That was also where a great number of husks were. More specifically, the shed was crawling with the dark grey and blue bastards as they tried to get to the people that were inside. Also, there were two geth standing off to the left of the shed on the stairs leading to the main area of the spaceport. Those geth looked as if they were supervising the husks progress...and were standing by in case they missed someone.

_Not one more dies!_ Shepard growled. "Don't let them get into the shed!" she ordered Kaidan, glancing over at him before her biotics flared to life.

For the split second that she looked at him, Kaidan was lost in Shepard's eyes as they glowed bluer with her dark energy. It wasn't just her eyes, though. Her whole body glowed, and he was just lost in the...beauty. The sudden release of the energy that boiled up around her was what drew him back to reality.

Five or so of the husks were suddenly sucked from the shed they were crawling on and levitated in the air by singularity, being drawn into the blue orb that was the dark energy's core. Blue biotics rippled across them, burning brighter than the blue in the tech they seemed to be infused with.

"Alenko, warp it!" Shepard ordered.

"Warp what?"

"The singularity!" she hollered back.

"But that would—!"

Gunfire ripped between them and Kaidan ducked for cover. Shepard sidestepped a little out of the way before she searched for the geth through her scope.

"Just do it, Lieutenant! Quit holding back!"

She was completely out in the open. Both of the geth could see her perfectly and were firing at her, their shots slamming against her shields. A few of the husks' attention was also taken away from the shed and they were shambling towards her as well. She was drawing everything towards her and away from the shed. Kaidan longed to pull her into cover, but she gave him an order. His own biotics flared and he quickly did as she asked.

Blue dark energy shot out in all directions as that combination of biotics produced explosive results. The husks that were caught in Shepard's singularity were completely ripped to shreds, as were the husks that were nearby.

At the same instant: _"Shields at 50%"_ Shepard's hardsuit VI chimed in her earpiece. _I know_!she growled. The geth were moving too much. She couldn't keep them in her sights long enough to get any good shots off. More of the enemies' gunfire crashed against her shields, and she could see the decrease in percentage of shields she had in her eyepiece. She could also see a containment cell. _Too much time out in the open_, she chided herself and fired.

The resulting explosion knocked one of the geth into a nearby fire. Sirens and metallic screaming ensued as the thing roasted.

Shepard looked through the scope and without it in an attempt to find and pinpoint the remaining geth trooper.

Kaidan was dealing with the husks that didn't get caught in the singularity field or the explosion caused by their combined biotics. The damn things could move fast for shambling corpses, and one of the husks managed to get past him and was now charging towards Shepard. It let out an inhumane howl as it drew closer to her. She didn't hear it coming, though. With all the gunfire and the growls of the other husks that weren't near her, Shepard was deaf to the oncoming husk; and Kaidan was too preoccupied with the husks that were attacking him to do anything about it as much as he wanted to.

"Shepard!" he yelled, trying to get her attention and draw it towards the husk.

Shepard's shields were still taking a beating from the remaining geth. _Fuck_! she hissed, turning to face the approaching husk. It was way too close for comfort, especially for a sniper; and she had no time to switch to her trusty shotgun. _Fuck, fuck..._ She didn't even have time to properly aim. Shepard just leveled her gun and fired.

The husk was blown back with a gaping hole in its chest before it finally hit the ground limply.

"_Shields are gone,_" The VI chimed calmly as her shields become a visible blue field before they died out.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!_ Shepard bolted to the side, the trooper's gunfire still following her, trying to hit its mark. Dropping into a crouch, she sighted down her scope pulled the trigger. Two rounds had reached her position just as she fired her sniper rifle. One of them flew by her head, inches away from her skin. The other crashed into her shoulder, making its way through her armor and embedding itself in her flesh before all traces of it were gone as the effects of being shot through a mass effect field in the gun it was fired from wore off.

The geth trooper collapsed onto the ground with a missing head as Shepard stood from her crouch, wincing from the pain that was starting to resonate from her shoulder. She buried it, though; much like what she did with any emotions and exhaustion she might be feeling. She acknowledged that she was wounded but otherwise ignored it. "Show no weakness. Give out pain," was a motto she had heard from an old soldier and had taken a liking to.

_Show no weakness..._ she ordered herself as she moved over to where Kaidan stood. _Don't let him know you're wounded._

Kaidan was surrounded a number of dead husks. His chest rose and fell as he breathed heavily. Using his biotics at the rate he was, was starting to cause some strain on him.

"You alright, Alenko?" Shepard breathed.

"I'm definitely going to have some serious bruises when I wake up tomorrow," he said lightheartedly, adrenaline washing away whatever fear the situation may have caused. Shepard chuckled softly. Otherwise, I'm good. You?"

"Likewise," she lied. In fact, her hardsuit's VI was administrating some medi-gel to ease the pain in her shoulder as she walked. "Come one. Let's check on the people in the shed."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Gah!" Shepard threw her arms into the air. "Stop calling me that!" she exclaimed playfully.

"Sorry, _Commander_," Kaidan responded, his own voice softening and reaching a similar playful tone that Shepard was using. "Old habits die hard."

"Sure," Shepard sighed, looking over at him. A small smile was brightening her fierce features as the two of the closed the gap between themselves and the shed.

Kaidan wanted to continue to talk freely and tease Shepard, but instinct and necessity wouldn't let him. They had a job to do, and when this was all over, maybe then they would have some time to talk candidly and teasingly with one another. "Looks like another security lock," he noted.

"Shouldn't be a problem," Shepard replied, her cold tone that she always had reasserting itself into her voice and personality. "Stay out here and keep your eyes open for anything while I talk to them. I don't want any surprises." Shepard fastened her sniper rifle onto her back once more before she began to hack the door.

"Aye, aye."

The door slid open and Shepard walked in. Kaidan glanced back in time to see her disappear before the door closed shut again.

_Well, the silence is nice, and a good thing, I guess,_ Kaidan thought as he stood, pistol drawn, on guard. _It at least means the geth aren't executing any more civilians and that Gunnery Chief Williams hasn't encountered any trouble...It could also mean that the geth aren't shooting because they ran out of live targets..._

Smoke rose from nearby fires, clogging the air with its thick texture. The smell of things burning tarnished everything, and not even the wind seemed to want to break cover and blow over the battle scarred colony. Muffled voices drifted over to where Kaidan stood. It was too distorted for words to be made out, but he could definitely hear Shepard's apathetic voice that was sometimes carefully inflected as she spoke with the civilians.

Finally, she emerged from the shed with four civilians in toe.

"Alright, head straight to the science camp," Shepard explained. "Another soldier is already there with two scientists that survived. It's safer there than here."

"We'll do that," one of the men piped up before they all made their way back the way Kaidan and Shepard had just come down from. They looked like frightened animals as the slinked across the terrain.

Shepard's eyes narrowed a bit as she tried to figure out whether or not she should radio ahead and let Ashley know about the civilians. She decided that it was important enough for her to destroy Anderson's radio silence wish. "Williams," she said, had pressed firmly to her earpiece as she spoke. "You've got a small group of civilians heading to your position. Look before you shoot."

"Roger that, Commander," Ashley responded, keeping what they said short, sweet, and vague as hell. "Checking targets. Won't shoot any friendlies."

As soon as the radio silence had been broken, it quickly won dominion over the soldier once more. Kaidan gave Shepard a nod that he was ready to go on and both of them continued to the spaceport.

* * *

><p>There was a body that wasn't one of the geth Shepard shot.<p>

"Commander," Kaidan said quietly, "It's Nihlus."

"Shit..." she hissed, kneeling down to inspect the body. "One round right through the head. Point blank, too."

"There's no way a Spectre would let some noisy machine sneak up on him and shoot him point blank in the head," Kaidan said.

"Agreed. That means that either some of the geth have cloaking devices, or—"

The crates that were directly in front of them started to wobble. Kaidan leveled his pistol where he assumed one of the geth or a husk would appear. Rising to her feet quickly, Shepard had grabbed her shotgun and was aiming in a similar fashion and in the same vicinity as Kaidan. Both of them were ready pull the trigger, but a voice called out from the crates before they pulled them.

"Wait! Wait! Wait! Don't shoot! Don't shoot! I'm one of you! I'm human!" came a man's voice as he stepped out of his hiding spot.

"Sneaking up on us like that's a good way to get shot," _Dumbass_, Shepard said almost casually as she lowered her weapon.

"Look, I—I'm sorry. I was hiding. From those creatures," he apologized. Panic was worn on his face as he looked nervously looked back and forth, searching for any of the _creatures_ he was hiding from.

"Noted." Shepard looked over at Kaidan who still had he weapon drawn and gave him a nod.

Instantly, he relaxed his stance and lowered his pistol. It didn't make him any less anxious. There was more to Nihlus' death than just a hole in his head. Something wasn't right. _Shepard has to see it too. Or at least feel it. She mentioned a few times about have some kind of bad feeling about something, and so far what she mention always turns out true._ Unwillingly, he began to pace back and forth behind Shepard.

"My name's Powell," the dock worker said. "I saw what happened to the turian," he motioned to Nihlus' body on the ground. "The other one shot him."

"Other one?" The clear pitch of surprise in that question couldn't be hidden. Not even by Shepard.

"Yeah," Powell answered meekly. "The other one got here first," he added, glancing around as if speaking about him would conjure him up. "He was waiting here when your friend showed up. He called him Saren," he then looked pleadingly at Shepard. "I think they knew each other." All he got was a nod from her, so he continued. "Your friend seemed to relax. He let his guard down...and Saren killed him. Shot him right in the back." _Head_, Shepard corrected him quietly. Powell's voice got higher as he spoke. It sounded as if he couldn't believe what he was saying. "I'm lucky he didn't see me behind the crates."

"Anything else?"

"That turian, Saren, he hoped on one of the cargo trains and headed over to the other platform."

"And...let me guess..." Shepard sighed, annoyed, "that just so happens to be where the Prothean beacon was moved."

"Yeah," Powell answered anxiously. "I knew that thing was trouble. Everything's gone to hell since it's been dug up. First, that damn mother ship showed up. Then, the attack. They killed everyone! Everyone! If I hadn't hid behind the crates, I'd be dead too!"

Kaidan continued to pace back and forth. Things had gotten steadily worse as soon as they were dropped off. Now it looked as if they were sliding down the shear drop that was 'shit going wrong' and getting closer and closer to going completely FUBAR (fucked up beyond all recognition) on this mission. _Why the hell was there another turian here? Was he working with the geth?_ He asked as the speed of his pacing increased. _Joker was right. Spectres are trouble._ Suddenly, Kaidan stopped. He needed to pay attention to what was going on. He needed to focus, to make sure that they weren't caught off guard. So, he settled on trying to pay attention to what Shepard was speaking to Powell about.

"So, these crates saved your life," she said, a disbelieving tone creeping into her voice. "Why didn't anyone else try to hide behind them?"

"They...didn't stand a chance," guilt seeped into his words. "And I was...I was already behind the crates when the attack started.

"Wait..." Kaidan interrupted. "You were already behind them?"

Powell looked over at Kaidan as if he had just appeared out of nowhere. "Sometimes I need to take a nap to get through my shifts," Powell's head hung low and there was more guilt. "I hid behind the crates so that I could grab 40 winks worth of sleep."

"That's pretty lucky," Shepard responded with a harsh tone. "Your laziness saved your life while everyone else died."

"I don't—I don't want to think about it," he whimpered.

"And those grenades you swiped from the military shipments could have saved some lives as well," she continued, her voice dropping lower and lower as she spoke.

"What are you-?"

"Cole told me about the smuggling ring you're running."

Powell balked, taking a step back. "S-So?" He stammered. "Everything's gone. Everyone's dead. It doesn't matter anymore."

"Maybe not, but we'll take anything that's useful."

"Alright...here," he said, quickly scuttling over to one side and handing them the grenades Shepard had called him out on having.

"A lot of marines died here today," she hissed threateningly. "You should find a way to make it up to them."

"I-I will."

"The science camp over on that hill is this safest place right now. One of the marines that was stationed here is protecting the other civilians that survived as well." Shepard added, her voice rising back up to a normalish tone. "It's in your best interest to get there."

"Thank you," Powell breathed before he got out from his hiding spot and ran off.

"Are you going to give Williams a heads up?" Kaidan asked once Powell had passed them.

"We don't have time from smugglers," she said before they too ran off. They, however, were making their way in the opposite direction towards the cargo train, taking out the geth and geth drones that were stationed in their way.

* * *

><p><em>A fucking bomb! Are you fucking kidding me!<em> Shepard screamed in her head as she quickly ran forward to disable it. Her omni-tool glowed as she hurriedly plucked at wires and deactivated protocols and programs on the explosive device. Sweat began to trickle down from her forehead as she worked. A lot was riding on her shoulders as she pounded away.

It only took her twenty seconds to deactivate the one, and Kaidan was stressed out from just watching her deactivate the bomb. It was crazily dangerous for her to try to disarm the damn thing. He didn't doubt that she could do it but still..._ If she crosses the wrong wire, makes one miscalculation..._ He didn't want to think about it. His head was already spinning from using his biotics; thinking about what could happen wasn't helping him.

"They're demolition charges," she yelled at Kaidan.

"The geth must have planted them!"

Shepard didn't have time for words. This bomb was disarmed but that left three more and she had just over four minutes to take care of the rest. Using her omni-tool, she had luckily managed to get the locations of the other charges. Now it was a simple matter of getting to them and disarming them in time before this place was sky high.

Bolting up the ramp, gunfire ripped around her as she ran. '_Simple matter' my ass!_ she hissed as she sprang forward. She could now see the second one. "Alenko!" she cried through their personal comm. link. "Cover me while I disarm them!"

She slid into cover next to the next charge and set to work. Buttons were pressed, wires were stripped and crossed, and Shepard worked dizzyingly fast as she rushed to finish the job before it was too late. The difficult part was that she had to rush without making mistakes. _Come on, come on, come on!_

Through their comm. link, Shepard heard Kaidan grunt in pain. She paused for half a second. "Alenko, are you alright?"

"Just a graze. I'm fine." More gunfire followed his answer as he did his best to keep the geth off of the Commander.

Another one of the charges was deactivated and there was one only a few meters ahead of her position. Shepard risked not drawing a weapon and peaked around her cover to see if she could move forward.

There were three geth blocking her path. _Thank God for grenades,_ she though cynically as she pulled out one, throwing it with her left.

A surge of pain flooded her shoulder and darkened her vision for a split second. She had completely forgotten about her shoulder wound thanks to the wonders of medi-gel. However, the wound didn't stop her when she got it, so she sure as hell wasn't going to let it stop her now. She hit the detonation button. Looking up, she saw Kaidan nod at her to move forward. The new cleared path helped her immensely when it came to getting to the third charge.

This one was a bit harder to deactivate and she could feel her heart pounding erratically. Her hands started trembling, so she had to take a few seconds to collect herself and normalize her breathing before she could continue. _Keep calm,_ she ordered herself.

Meanwhile, Kaidan was having difficulty taking out the geth that were ahead of them and were no doubt guarding the last demolition charge. They were starting to get closer, and although he was already exhausted, he had no choice but to throw them back with biotics.

Their situation was getting worse and worse as seconds progressed. Shepard could here Kaidan's labored breathing. He couldn't take much more of this, but she couldn't do anything. She needed to get this charge deactivated, and it had been modified in some way. It was different from the others, more resistant to her persistent hacking. But it was like poking and prodding a huge crack in the wall. Enough force and it'll eventually fall down.

Suddenly, the lights flickered and died on the device. Three down. One to go.

Now she could see why Kaidan was having difficulty killing the remaining geth. They were on the wrong side of where you bottleneck your enemies. There was a key flaw in their enemies thinking, though. They valued cover almost as much as Shepard, which is to say, not at all in certain situations. This is where Shepard's ingenuity with her own biotics became extremely helpful.

This part of the platform was covered in metal grates on the floor. Running out from cover and into the center to make sure she could get all the geth, she ripped off two of the larger sections of metal grates and made them vertical. She then slammed them together. It took her two seconds to turn the geth into diced tomatoes and she didn't even get hit. She also didn't let the victory slow her down as she ran for the other demolition charge that was at the far end. She did, however, get startled when one of the white geth appeared from behind the pillar the demolition charge was also behind.

Without even consciously thinking about it, she used her biotics to pull it into the air before she crouched down next to the last charge.

Kaidan's pistol fired off four times before all the geth in this area were dead. He then slowly came to stand beside Shepard as she furiously worked on the last charge.

Finally, the strife with the demolition charges was done as the fourth, and final, one was deactivated.

Shepard's frame relaxed immensely. She had a lot of built up tension from the pressure of the charges. Now that it was released, her limbs felt like jelly. Her shoulder was still a bit sore, a dull throb of pain coming from it, but otherwise, she was unscratched. Dropping to her knees from her crouch, Shepard let out a very loud and relieved sigh. "Drinks are on me when we get off Eden Prime," she said, her voice shaking a little from the adrenaline.

Kaidan could only laugh and nod, too tired to form words. He did, however, hold out a hand for Shepard to help her up. She looked up at him and gave him a small smile of gratitude as she took his hand and he pulled her up. _It didn't reach her eyes,_ he thought. _Her smile didn't melt her icy eyes._

"Come one," she sighed. "We still need to secure that beacon."

"I'm still right behind you, Commander," he replied.

"I'm surprised. Someone with sense would've turned tail and ran with the amount of shit that goes wrong around me."

"Are you making fun of me, _ma'am_?" he asked teasingly as they walked.

"Nope," she laughed. "Just pointing out that you're kind of stubborn like me."

* * *

><p>There were a few more geth and husks near the beacon, but a few shots from Shepard's shotgun, and they were all annihilated. An eerie silence then settled on the spaceport once all the hostiles were neutralized in the area. What made the eerie quiet worse was that it seemed to expand to the rest of the colony. But it didn't stop there. It felt like the entire planet, all of Eden Prime, was mourning the destruction while it licked its wounds.<p>

_All this death for some stupid artifact...It better be fucking worth it..._ Shepard thought bitterly as s he moved to the railing, giving the Prothean beacon a wide birth. "Holy shit!" she breathed as she looked out at the scene spread before her.

Kaidan jogged over, careful not to get too close to the beacon just as Shepard had, to see what she was looking at. His jaw dropped as he saw what Shepard was staring wide-eyed at. "My god!" he exclaimed breathlessly. "It looks like a bomb went off."

A perfect circle was formed in the fields. Smoke rose lazily from it in multiple areas. The ground was scorched black. Cracks of red split the surface of the black disk where fires still burned. They were looking complete destruction. Total annihilation. Nothing down there lived any longer.

"This must have been where that mother ship landed," Shepard noted sourly.

"Yeah," Kaidan agreed. "Well, I think we can finally radio back to the _Normandy_ and tell them that the beacon is secure." Kaidan forced his eyes away from the catastrophic destruction and onto Shepard.

"Right..." she said. Then, she cast a glance in the beacon's direction. Kaidan could practically see her analysis of it in her blue eyes as she figured out this anomaly. She looked...cute. The way she was biting her bottom lip as she was thinking added to that. It made her look much younger and not so much like the hardened soldier she was. That, and the slightly perplexed look on her face that softened her strong features. The bangs that were still refusing restraint hung loosely in her face. Some of them did manage to stay behind her ears after the hundredth time she tucked them back there. A little bit of ash marred her face, but it gave her a wild, exotic look.

"I highly doubt they would have moved this thing if it was glowing green like that before," she observed aloud.

Kaidan very nearly asked what on earth she was talking about he was so caught up in his own thoughts. A quick shake of his head disbanded them as he tried to observe what she was seeing. "Maybe something activated it," he offered.

"That's not a good thing," she replied. "Oh well, not our headache."

"It's kind of amazing though." Shepard looked at Kaidan with a questioning tilt of her head. "Actual working Prothean technology."

"Hmm..." Shepard backed up before turning away from the beacon, her had pressed to her ear. "_Normandy_, the beacon is secure," she radioed in. "Requesting evac for Lieutenant Alenko and myself along with the evac for a Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams and several civilians located at the science team's camp."

Kaidan didn't hear the rest of what Shepard said to either Joker or Captain Anderson as he carefully approached the beacon. The glowing green aura surrounding it was enticing. He had heard about the Archives on Mars, like every soldier, but he had never seen them before. The fact that he was just a meter or so away from a discovery that could be as important for humanity as their last one was incredible.

"Roger _Normandy_. Standing by," Shepard answered coldly.

Lowering her hand to her side, Shepard looked on either side of her, expecting to see Kaidan. When she didn't, she assumed that he was still staring at the beacon in awe of its "awesome power." Her assumption didn't put out the fire that was the nagging feeling of something bad about to happen.

Suddenly, the beacon's aura increased in sized as it flared out towards Kaidan. An invisible force began to drag him closer and closer to the device. No amount of struggling on his end could even loosen its hold. A high pitch noise, like a scream only metallic, then started drilling into his head, tearing up his ears.

Kaidan wasn't the only one to feel the effects of the beacon, however. Shepard also felt a slight pull from it, but it could be compared to the tug of an underpowered vacuum. What really tipped her off was the scream emanating from behind her. She whipped around and shock rippled through her as she quickly figured out what was happening. She could scarcely believe what she was seeing, and even if she didn't fully, a new emotion immediately replaced her surprise and drover her forward. Sprinting towards Kaidan, the blue eyes that had widened momentarily were now narrowed in determination. She wrapped an arm around Kaidan and quickly threw him to the side and took his place. It was something she would always do. Her life meant nothing to her. If it could be given up to save another, the question of whether or not she would never had to be voiced. That was the case now. Kaidan hadn't asked for her to switch places with him. She simply had because of her need to protect. Failing so many had shaped her this way.

Shepard was yanked into the air like a rag doll by the same invisible force that had been dragging Kaidan. The metallic screaming grew louder, but soon that noise was replaced by another. Voices calling out, wails of despair, cries of pain, they all sounded in her ears. Images of fire, blood, and tearing flesh flashed before her eyes. Machines, synthetics, were the main thing that she saw. They were slaughtering people. A combination of skin and wires burned into her mind. Feelings were thrust on her, too. The main one being pain. Physical and emotional pain. The pain of watching your species being ripped to shreds by an enemy far more advanced and deadly than you own. The pain of losing your planet to machines. The pain of losing all of the people you cared about and the slight relief that came from knowing that there was no way you would hold out much longer than they had.

Fires burned, raging through the images. Ashes fell like snow, covering everything in thick gray blankets. Blood pooled in the streets, welling up around the mangled corpses that lay in silent streets, crumbling buildings, and trampled fields. Death was everywhere.

It was genocide.

_~~.0.~~_

_No one is saved! The age of humanity is ended! Soon, only ruin and corpses will remain!_

_I saw him! The Prophet. Leader of the enemy. He was here, before the attack._

_Is it madness to see the future? To see destruction rushing towards us? To understand there is no escape? No hope? No, I am not mad. I am the only sane one left!_

_You can't stop it! No one can stop it! Night is falling. The darkness of eternity._

* * *

><p>AN: Another very long chapter. You know, I didn't realize how much dialogue was in this mission until I was writing it. It's not like you need to get to the beacon or anything, go ahead and chat it up with everyone you find! But I digress. Anyways, please inform me of any mistakes (grammar, spelling, confusion) so that I might fix it and make it better.<p>

:) feedback is appreciated.


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